Author Archives: Deborah Khuanghlawn

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Don’t Believe the Lie

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Although I laugh and I act like a clown
Beneath this mask I am wearing a frown

This is going to be a two part series. Part 1 is from other people’s thoughts and then part 2 will be next week with my own thoughts.

Funny, I had been planning for a few weeks to write a blog post on this subject. Then we had a guest preacher on Sunday which can be hit or miss depending on the subject matter and/or style of teaching. This week it turned out to be a hit because the sermon ended up being almost exactly what I was going to write on. I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE GOD.

I’ve paraphrased the sermon here, so not direct quotes but pretty much the gist of what I got out of it.

We’ve all got troubles. But we don’t like letting other people know that we do.

Ephesians 6:10-17 talks about putting on the armor of God so, among the things you will defend yourself against are flaming arrows. These arrows show us our shame, remind us of our secrets, and whispers the lie that God could never love you.

The power of this lie is that it plays on our deepest fear, which is that we want someone to KNOW us, the REAL us and not the person that we pretend to be on a job interview. We want to allow them to see the skeletons that are in the closet but also want that same person to love us.

We’re so afraid that the dream can’t come. That if someone actually knew the real us, saw behind the mask, before the makeup that they would walk away. Our fear is to be known and be rejected. And when those things that we fear keep us from being loved and they are held in front of my face, we believe every bad thing about us.

We try to defend ourselves by putting out a version of ourselves that we think is lovable. We take all the real stuff and put up yellow caution tape and say keep out. We put up the good stuff on Facebook because what will happen if others see all the other stuff? They’ll walk away.

“When you meet somebody for the first time, you’re not meeting them. You’re meeting their representative”. Chris Rock

We only show the version of us that we think others might love. We only get out the stuff that we think is worthy of love.

What if someone saw behind the mask? What would someone say if they really know us?

Satan shows you your sin and tells you God doesn’t love you. God shows you His Son and says “Oh yes I do.”

A friend of mine wrote a comment in a Facebook group we’re in and gave me permission to share parts of it here. I feel like it pretty much summarizes what the message on Sunday was saying but with a personal touch.

I stopped dating when I was 19 and didn’t go on another date until I was 23 ( I think?). Guys. Never. Asked. Me. Out. I went on about it kind of ad nauseam on the blog back in the day, and everyone had a reason for it that read kind of like these articles. I was too “picky”, I was too “contentious”, I was too “masculine”, I was too chubby and didn’t care for my physical appearance enough to attract a man. All the guys I knew were *right* not to ask me out because I was, apparently, at 23, a hateful spiteful disgusting hag.

The gross thing is, I *believed* them. I believed it was my fault that no one wanted to go out with me and that the responsibility for it rested squarely on my shoulders. If I were more spiritual, or more beautiful, or less opinionated guys would be into what I was selling.

Between 23 and 25 I began to start rejecting the “theology” that had kept me single for so long. I started Online dating and saying yes to everyone, and I went on a lot of dates with a lot of disappointing men. No, not “they have a blue collar job and that’s beneath me” disappointing. “I can’t carry a conversation” disappointing, “I have no real life plans” disappointing, “I figured it was about time for me to stop being an irresponsible playboy and settle down” disappointing. I thought that these kinds of guys would be the only ones who could ever possibly like or be interested in someone like me, because the message I heard constantly and internalized was “You’re not good enough.” I was beyond settling, I thought I needed to find someone out there who was willing to settle *for* me. “You’re not good enough” resonated with me because it was something that I had internalized a LOT as a bullied child and a young adult who just never felt she could chin up on the adequacy bar. No matter what I did, I always felt like people around me were disappointed. That was baggage I carried into my relationships.

After a four month relationship with “I didn’t finish high school and am dangerously emotionally attached to my mother” disappointing, I started to suspect that there was a common denominator in the kinds of guys who asked me out. — They were guys who wanted to date the kind of woman I was trying to sell myself as. The idyllic quiet, unassuming, unquestioning sweet gentle good Christian girl I was trying to learn to be. They wanted someone who was going to mother them, care for them, make them happy and solve all their problems. The Conservative church had taught me that I was supposed to be a problem solver. My role was to be a “helpmeet” and if I couldn’t live up to whatever that entailed for whatever specific man I was supporting, then I was a failure as a woman. I finally had to come face to face with reality: I could never be that woman.

Thankfully, I had been becoming involved in a less conservative church over the years, with women who reeducated me in who I was. I was loved regardless of my doing, and that my ideas were not less worthy simply because they originated in my female mind. These strong women of faith retaught me to trust my own discernment when it came to seeking out God’s plan for my life. I came out of that season and I began to get a different perspective on dating: What if — instead of waiting on guys who didn’t ask me out to take me on a date, or accepting whatever crumbs might fall off that fundamentalist table — I began to date the kinds of guys *I* wanted to marry? Decent guys with good life plans who shared my goals and interests. So I began to consciously seek those guys out. I worked hard to surround myself not with guys who talked a good “spiritualized” game, but with guys who were engaged in their careers, who set goals for themselves, and who had hobbies and interests beyond impressing people with big talk and being seen at Church and friend events.

All this to say, sometimes we put too much emphasis on the asking. At the end of the day, in any marriage, you both have to learn to make decisions together, as a couple. If you know what you want out of a relationship and you see those qualities in another person, then run after that! There is no biblical mandate that says you can’t. Don’t internalize the story that you are only worth what washes up on the beaches of your life, or you might end up with a bunch of six pack rings and some kelp and a lot of time on your hands.

Well said. Probably better than what I’ll be saying next week, but I’ll still give it a shot.

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For the Love of Superman Ice Cream

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This weekend I received some news that made me highly excited.

I was told that there is Superman ice cream in Northern Virginia.

What the eff is Superman ice cream you ask?

Well it looks like this:

supermanice

It has nothing to do the actual Superman or DC Comics. Just that the colors are blue, yellow, and red like Superman’s colors. Now that I think about it would be fitting that my favorite flavor of ice cream is geek related.

I first discovered this wondrous creation in a small ice cream shop in southwest Virginia several years ago. Normally I usually go for cookie dough ice cream or cookies and cream. But that fateful day, I decided to try something new and went with this multicolored ice cream without having any idea how it tasted.

BEST DECISION EVER.

It’s really hard to describe how it tastes other than FREAKIN AWESOME. Some people say it’s just vanilla in three different colors. Others say it’s three types of fruity flavors such as strawberry, banana (or lemon) and Blue Moon (no, not the beer). I say that it’s something you have to try for yourself. You may not like it (all those artificial colors, I know) but I think it’s just delicious.

Anyways, other than that one ice cream shop, the only other place I’ve been able to find it was at a ski resort in western Maryland.

superman

(Yep, I know I look rough here. This was after a long, exhausting but quite fun tubing session.)

I was not expecting to find it and of course, I’m the weird person who was geeked to eat ice cream in freezing weather.

As it’s originally from Michigan and normally a Midwest thing, it’s nowhere to be found in stores or in any other local ice cream place I’ve been to. Every time I traveled for work, I would search in vain hoping that maybe one place would have it.

Now that I’ve received rumors that Superman ice cream is somewhat nearby this is the current dilemma. According to Google maps, the place that sells this ice cream is 20 miles away so it’s a 40 mile round trip.

How much do I love this ice cream? Is it worth the trip? So many factors to consider. Do I need to be in this area for anything else? How much is the ice cream? Can take home quantities be bought? Do they even have it in stock? Will it taste as good as I remembered it? Can I convince anyone to go out and get it with me? Do I feel geeky?

This is going to be a to be continued post. I will try to see if I can make it sometime during the summer.

Oh the anticipation.

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What Good Books Have You Read Lately? Vol 2

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It’s the 4th of July today and most people who read this blog probably won’t today due to cookouts, beach trips, fireworks, other things instead of being on the computer all day. But for those of you who DO happen to be reading this, it’s time for another edition of what books I’ve been reading lately.

Quick reading update: the year is halfway over and I’ve read 93 out of my goal of 225 books for the year. According to Goodreads I am 20 books behind schedule.

Catch a Falling Star by Kim Culbertson (Point, 2014)

My blurb: Food! Movie making! Young adult fiction! This book has it all. This is a great summer read. One to bring at the beach from some light (but not fluff) reading.

A Beauty So Rare by Tamera Alexander (Bethany House, 2014)

My blurb: This book was a chunkster, 480 pages in the regular version, and I had borrowed the large print from the library which was a whopping 750 pages. But worth every one of them. I realized later that I hadn’t read the first book in the series but it was ok as this one stood alone. I really enjoyed how the main character is 29 (old for the time period) and single and has accepted the fact that she is not what is normally desired. Because of that her focus is not on romance, even though it does eventually happen. There’s also a good deal of food in this book as well.

Where Courage Calls by Janette Oke and Laurel Oke Logan (Bethany House, 2014)

My blurb: Janette Oke has always been comfort reading for me and I was thrilled that they’re returning to one of my favorite series with this book. Apparently there’s a TV show based on this, though I won’t be watching. What I did like was back to the basics and returning to the roots of the series, set in the Canadian west. The characters were very believable and likable and the ending wasn’t what I expected. I’m also a sucker for pioneer west books.

Goodnight June by Sarah Jio (Plume, 2014)

My blurb: I’ve yet to meet a Sarah Jio book I didn’t like. This one features her signature style and adds in one of my favorite things ever: a book about the love of books. If you like Goodnight Moon, this story gives a “what if” story about the author.

Three Souls by Janie Chang (William Morrow, 2014)

My blurb: I think this is probably the best book I’ve read this year so far. If you liked The Joy Luck Club or any of Lisa See’s books then you’ll enjoy this one. It’s set in China but it’s a different type of Chinese story set in the 1920s-30s. The main character is educated which is different from most stories set during the time period. She’s also dead from the beginning. I’m not doing justice here describing it. Basically if you’re looking for a unique read about POC characters, this one is a winner.

The Fault In Our Stars by John Green (Dutton, 2012)

My blurb: Yes, yes. I watched the movie before reading the book. And because of that, since I knew what happened I didn’t cry while reading like most people did. However, I really enjoyed seeing Hazel and Augustus’s story fleshed out and see what was different from what was in the movie. Also, this was my first John Green book ever. Yes, yes. I’m late to the game. Also I read this as an ebook on my computer because I didn’t want to wait forever for a hard copy version from the library.

What good books have YOU been reading lately?

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Why Do I Blog?

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Sometimes I wonder why I keep blogging.

It’s certainly not for the numbers. Every time someone asks me how many subscribers I have, I don’t like telling them because it’s a really low number. My stats are not amazing. Anytime someone says they have low stats, I want to say “you don’t know low stats.” I do know that a few people read almost everything I post, but otherwise I have no idea who actually reads my blog on a regular basis. While I share new blog posts on social media, unless someone tells me that they read something, I just assume no one reads it. I don’t expect any of my friends to actually read this. There are days when I get really excited about writing a post and I put a lot of time and effort into it only to have nobody even click on the post at all much less read or comment on it.

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It’s not for exposure. I’m not getting famous by doing this. I’m not expecting any of my posts to go viral, for me to get discovered, or for me to get a book deal out of this. Nor am I doing this in order to work on my writing so that I can go somewhere with it. It’d be cool if this could lead towards a job because of my blogging but as of right now that’s not happening.

And contrary to popular belief, this blog is not so I can write about everything that happens in my life. It’s not like I’m waiting around for events to happen so I can talk about them on here.

You may think I’m being completely open on my blog and to some extent I am. But I don’t treat this like a diary and there are a lot of things that I am not going to overshare with the rest of the world. At least not on a public platform like my blog. Therefore if you only read my posts but never actually talk to me, you only have a one-sided view of what I’m really like.

No, the real reason why I started blogging again was because I want others to know that they are not alone.

There’s a difference in wanting to be by yourself and then feeling like you’re alone in what you’re going through.

I know that one of the first things I do when I go through a crisis or situation is to Google it. Because I want to believe that I can’t possibly be the only person that’s going through this situation. Surely there must be someone in the world who knows what I’m going through and I’m not just some freak of nature that this is happening to.

A lot of times however I can’t. And while some of you are perfectly fine in situations where you’re the only person, I know for me it is super hard because I feel like I’m drowning and there is no one who can help me. I don’t like the feeling of being the odd person out in a negative way. When I feel like nobody understands what I’m going through, trying to make things better is a very steep uphill climb.

So with this blog, in case someone happens to stumble up on it, I just want them know they aren’t alone. Whether that’s a someone who suddenly has a completely random thought and is curious if anyone else thought it, or someone who happens to like watching the Olympics AND Doctor Who and wonders if it’s possible to like sports AND be a geek, or if someone is struggling with an issue and worries they are the only ones going through this: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

While it doesn’t have the highest amount of hits, the post on my blog that constantly gets viewed every week is my post on Trusting God When Things Seem Impossible. Out of all the posts I’ve written on this blog, every week since I first posted in October, this post is the most searched and most regularly visited. There have been so many variations of the phrase of trusting God in impossible times used in search engines to find that post. Which to me seems that there are many people who feel the same way I did and they want to know what to do and to know that they are not alone in that situation. I don’t know if my blog helps. I’d like to think that what I said has some impact and can give them some reassurance and advice but I’m not sure. What I do know is that for me, every time I see that post appearing in my stats for the day, it helps to remind ME that God is still working in my life and that I need to trust him even when I have no idea how things will work out for myself.

I just feel like I am meant to do this right now. I may feel like stopping at some point but for now this is what I feel like I’m being led to do. Like I’ve said before, I have a story. Several stories actually. And if I can help others somehow with my story and make an impact in their lives, then that’s what I want to continue doing. I’m pretty sure I’m getting better at it and will continue to do more so in the future.

Writing this blog has also helped me a lot. It’s keeping me disciplined and accountable as I’ve kept up with my schedule of posting three times a week. It’s helped me become more creative and allows an outlet for me to let it out. Even if I’m not actively trying to have a writing career, I am writing more and I do believe it is improving. Doing this has also helping me figure out more things about myself. And that’s always a good thing.

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Grape Juice That Burns!

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Yay it’s confession time here again on A Girl Who is a Geek!

I’ve talked before on here about how I’ve gotten into drinking craft beer and how it’s been a fun experience. Actually it’s been even more fun since that post because I’ve discovered a lot more about beers and trying new things. It’s not necessarily become a hobby but I really like learning more about it and it’s fun to try out different flights with friends (and get more badges on Untappd). Also I get called a beer snob now. Whatevs.

But….I can’t however say the same thing about wine.

Confession: I don’t like wine.

It makes me feel weird because I feel like anyone that drinks likes wine. Even if you’re a beer drinker or a liquor drinker, you seem to also like wine.  If any of my girlfriends drink alcohol, they tend to be a wine drinker. I could go to any one of their houses right now and find at least one bottle of wine and lots of wine glasses.

Come to my house and you’ll find 1 beer, some liquor, and no wine.

I’m weird, I know.

I don’t like the taste and I don’t like the smell. To quote Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory: “Grape juice that burns!” Red wine smells strongly of yeast to me and it is not appealing to me at all. I went to a bridal shower once and everyone there was huge wine drinkers and I was poured a huge glass of red wine before I could decline. It went untouched the entire time.

I know it’s an acquired taste but after several years of trying both good and bad wines, it’s just not happening for me. I don’t think I’ll ever be a wine drinker.

There ARE some white wines that I can handle, but usually only in small amounts and I think it’s only been at weddings when I’ve had them. I’m never going to be one of those people who is going to order a bottle of wine at dinner. If you give me a wine as a present for any occasion, you obviously don’t know me very well. While I don’t mind visiting wineries for the atmosphere, that’s not the type of alcohol tasting I’d really enjoy. I will probably be the weird girl who if/when I ever have a bachelorette party weekend, I’ll get shot down by everyone because I’ll want to go to a brewery for a beer tasting vs a winery for a wine tasting.

I realize it’s perfectly fine to not enjoy the taste of wine. There are plenty of people who don’t like the taste of beer at all, even the really delicious ones that I’ve found. Heck there’s some folks out there who don’t like the taste of sweet tea. (Heathens!)

I think it just makes me feel weird that I’ve found yet another thing that sets me apart from the majority of the people I hang around with. I mean even Jesus make water turn into wine!

Beer seems to be a guy thing, wine seems to be girl thing at least in my community and at least how the media seems to portray it. Every time there’s a girl night, wine always seems to get brought out and either you drink that or you don’t drink at all. And yes, I know that there are many women who DO enjoy beers the way I do. They just don’t happen to be in my circle which probably means I have to get out of my circle in order to find folks that do.

All this to say, I won’t ever object to you drinking wine in front of me. And neither will I give you this whole spiel of how much I hate wine because I really don’t hate it. I just don’t have the taste for it. It’s more of a feeling of being different from everyone else but that’s something I’ll have to deal with on my own. My likes are perfectly fine and they are what make me unique (and awesome).

So next time you see me, you can raise your glass of wine to me and I’ll raise my pint of beer (or cup of sweet tea) back at ya. Cheers!

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World Cup Fever

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Unless you’ve managed to somehow avoid all the internet and human contact over the past couple weeks other than this blog (I’d be highly flattered but also super confused) or you JUST DON’T CARE, the World Cup is happening!

For me, the World Cup is only second to the Olympics in terms of giddiness over watching sports for me.

I never got the chance to play soccer growing up because my parents only let us play one sport (and I’m such a stellar basketball player!) and I also wore glasses growing up.

The first World Cup I watched was in 1994 which was held in the US. That was an exciting time. Alexi Lalas, Marcelo Balboa. Cobi Jones. Tab Ramos. Tony Meola. That was the year that we somehow managed to get into the second round after Columbia scored their own goal in our game (and the poor dude got killed afterwards) and then during the second round Tab Ramos got elbowed in the head by the Brazilian player. Even though we lost that game, that entire World Cup got me really interested in the game.

Then women’s soccer got really popular as well and I so desperately wished that I could have played. In my high school. the cool kids played soccer.

As I got older, I realized that soccer is not a popular sport in this country. I’m not going to go into that because everyone has their reasons of why they don’t like it. What I do think is annoying is the fact that people can’t seem to just accept that it’s ok to like different things. If people enjoy one sport, let them and stop trying to talk about why it’s a stupid sport. I’m not here to convince you of why you should like it. I’m just excited to talk about something I like (and well it’s my blog).

Something that I also really like about soccer is how diverse the audience is. It’s an international sport so all different nationalities get involved in cheering. You really can’t say that for a lot of other sports.

Here’s the thing. I know we’re not going to win the World Cup unless a miracle happens. It’s going to be a while before we get REALLY good, if that ever happens. However at the same time, it’s been obvious. Our team is getting better! And there’s more interest!

This video is from the last World Cup but it still makes me smile whenever I watch it.

I went to a sports bar in downtown Reston yesterday to watch the US/Germany game and it was PACKED. Standing room only. They wouldn’t let people in due to being overcrowded. I was apparently one of the last people they let in and even then I was allowed past the steps in the entrance. Which was perfectly fine for me as I was next to the ledge and could rest my arms for the entire game and had perfect vision of TVs. But folks who left for smoke breaks during halftime weren’t even allowed to come back in. That’s how full it was.

It was the first time I’ve watched a World Cup game in a public setting so the excitement was so much greater. Also the stress level increased by 1000. I really wish we had scored a goal because I would have loved to have been able to cheer with so many folks. Those two last-minute attempts did get the heart racing with the cheers and then the groans. It was a really fun time. And I was even by myself and still had a great time.

Much like the Olympics, people get excited every four years for this event. All the other events in the Olympics take place every year but it’s not given a lot of coverage except for during that time period. And that’s when folks get excited. For me, watching the World Cup is exciting because I get to cheer for my country, watch a bunch of hot guys run around a field (hey, I can enjoy that), and enjoy a sport that I really like.

One of the goals on my next bucket list is to watch the US team win a game in another public setting. (Aiming low because I really don’t feel like I’ll ever be able to make it to a real life game.) Maybe I can cross off that goal next week?

I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN!

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When Someone is Mad at You and You Don’t Know Why

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There’s something that has been bothering me as of late. It’s not really a huge thing. And I know that I will eventually just get over it and move on.

It’s that nagging feeling of when someone appears to be mad at you or stops liking you and you have no idea why.

Truth: I have trouble trying not to be a people pleaser. I’ve gotten a lot better about it than I used to be in the past. Yes, I worry about what people think still but now I realize that I cannot make people happy all the time.

But it’s one thing when I make decisions because I know what’s best for me and if someone doesn’t like it, oh well. It’s completely another thing when apparently you’ve done something to offend someone and you have absolutely no idea why.

It’s really hard to comprehend the sudden 180 degree change in behavior. When someone goes from treating you like family or like a very close friend and everything that comes with that type of relationship to acting cold and distant and ignoring you whenever you try to talk to them, it can be really hard. And it hurts. A lot.

I spent weeks racking my brain trying to figure out what on earth I could have done wrong and I came up with nothing. Did I say something offensive? Did I do an action that was considered rude? Did I make a promise and forgot to keep it? I even tried to chalk it up to maybe they were having a bad day that one time. I know fully well the world does not revolve around me so perhaps it wasn’t my fault that they reacted differently that one time. Maybe there was something going on in their lives that time that was more important than anything I had to say.

But then it kept happening again and again. To the point where the relationship just completely fizzled out. And I still have no idea what on earth happened.

I did try to find out. I sent texts. Called and left messages. Even mailed cards and letters. All my efforts went unanswered So I gave up.

It felt and still feels horrible. I may never know what happened.

The thing is I know that I’ve done everything I can possibly do. If someone truly has become so angry or disgusted with me but they cannot tell me this, then I know it’s on them and not me. If I knew what offense I have done, then I would apologize. But the thing is, I don’t know what it is or even if there is anything to apologize for. Maybe I did do something horrible and am just completely clueless about it. Maybe there is mistaken assumption and in time it’ll be cleared up. Maybe the relationship just ran out its course and the other party just didn’t feel like publicly ending it and this is the only way they know how.

I just don’t know. But what I do know is that I feel like I’ve done everything that I can do. Even though I feel uneasy about this I’ve tried to react in love and show grace towards them. If space and distance is what they want, then I’ll give them that too, though not in a passive aggressive attitude.

I hope in time I’ll understand what happened and that the relationship can be fixed. If there’s anything I can do to clear things up, I hope God shows me my mistakes and what I can do. If it’s truly not me, then I hope that in time, things will become clear and everything makes sense. I also am prepared that the relationship may never be fixed and I may never know this side of heaven what caused the rift in the first place.

Basically all I can do now is just wait (yay) and just see what happens. I can’t force anything.

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The Dangerous Experiment

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I talk a lot on here about how I’m a shy extrovert. And how while I’m not always that good with being outgoing, I recharge by being around people I’m close with.

Every time I read a list about what introverts want the most on Buzzfeed, it’s about how they wish people would just leave them alone and not contact them. And this makes me paranoid that everyone is really like this and I’m just the weird one that wants to be around people.

However, believe or not, there are also days when I actually do want to be alone and not see anyone. There are days when I’m perfectly content with staying at home and reading books all day or going to the movies along because I don’t want to be with anyone. It’s not that extroverts need to be surrounded with people all the time. We need our downtime too. It’s like breathing underwater. And then I need to come back to the surface, take a few deep breaths, so I can go back down again.

Those days though come maybe every few weeks or so. I can only be myself willingly for so long.

Then I have days where, for whatever reason, I feel the need to see how long I can go without having people contact me.

Therefore I have days when I just want to see what happens if I don’t contact anyone and see if anyone actually responds. It’s a dangerous experiment to play because there is the potential that it can fail. It’s almost like I want to see if I died would anyone notice? How long would it take for someone to get in touch with me? And I would be absolutely crushed if no one did. I won’t lie. It’s a very selfish experiment because I’m not purposely trying to avoid people; I just want to see how much I matter.

But because I never announce in advance I’m going to do this (and why would I?), it always never happens. Only unless I completely shut off my phone, turn off my computer, and didn’t leave my house would I be able to avoid all forms of human contact. Somehow, someway every time I’ve tried this experiment, someone tries to get in contact with me.

So I try not to do this anymore. I don’t want to be a hermit. I like people. I love my family and friends. I would like to think that if I disappeared someone would notice. I don’t want to ostracize myself from others.

It’s not always about waiting around for someone else to make the first move. I’ve learned to reach out to others. If you want something, sometimes you have to go out and get it yourself. And especially since I can be shy about reaching out to others, when I do make the effort (vs. doing it all the time) it tends to pay off very well. If people have problems with me reaching out them occasionally then that’s their problem, not mine.

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Musketeering and Odysseying

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Two fun things to talk about this week!

My next show that I’ll be blogging about for Entertainment Weekly starts next this Sunday. I’m really excited that I’ll be covering The Musketeers on BBC America. The show is not just another adaptation of the classic novel but instead takes the characters and puts them into new situations. Basically I’m really geeked because I love anything the BBC does, it’s a costume drama, there will be sword fighting, AND it stars Peter Capaldi, the new twelfth Doctor.

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Since the show airs on Sunday nights, my recaps will be either be posted late Sunday night or early Monday morning. My first post however is up. To get in the mood for the show, I take a look back at previous adaptations of the Musketeers and includes bonus GIFs of Man in the Iron Mask Leo. Click here to read my post!

If you want to join in on the fun, the show premieres this Sunday on BBC America at 9/8C. I’m hoping that this show is more mainstream and has a bigger audience than Metal Hurlant Chronicles. While that eventually became an interesting show, it was very niche-y and I was having trouble finding people to talk about it with, even online. This one I think I won’t have that much trouble and I’m already excited that the official Twitter accounts for BBC America and The Musketeers have already retweeted me. The show runs for ten weeks and I believe it’ll lead up to the premiere of the next season of Doctor Who. The show has already been aired in the UK and has been renewed for a second season though Peter Capaldi won’t be returning because he seems to have another show he’s already committed too. Silly him.

Once again, I probably will not be posting links to my articles every week on this blog, so follow me on Twitter or like my Facebook page (links are in the sidebar) to find out when I got new stuff or info. Let me know too if you’re watching!

Also in other fun news, I’m pretty geeked to be chosen as part of the promo blog team for the new Odyssey Adventure Club.

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I listened to Adventures in Odyssey growing up and it has fond memories for me. It’s a radio drama produced by Focus on the Family so there is a Christian slant to it which is a focus of most of the earlier episodes. However as the years went by, the focus of the writing becomes more focused on  the storyline. There are some solid episodes that are just as good as any book I’ve read because I got so involved with the plot and characters. Also there’s a bunch of jokes that are for adults that the kids just won’t get. It’s been really cool to rediscover these and see how different it is for me to listen to it as an adult vs when I was a kid. While the target audience is still the 8-12 year old range, I find these very enjoyable for long commutes for adults as well. The production level is stellar.

The Odyssey Adventure Club is great because I have been wanting to listen to all the episodes but it was too costly for me to buy all the albums or my library didn’t have everything. With the club, you can stream all the episodes online. I have three months to try to listen to EVERYTHING. This will be a challenge because there are over 750 episodes at about 30 minutes each. I’m currently finishing up album 5. I’ll probably be blogging again about this throughout the summer.

Here’s more information about the club and activities for users:

-Unlimited streaming of Adventures in OdysseyLibrary (740+ episodes) retail value more than $1,500. (You can also download the OCA app on your iPhone or iPad and listen to up to 5 episodes without streaming.)
– New monthly exclusives episodes
– Monthly web quests
– Daily devotions based on Adventures in Odyssey episodes
– OAC exclusive blog posts
– OAC Monthly Member Newsletter
– OAC exclusive video stories
– Other Odyssey content (Last Chance Detectives and more!)
Summer is officially here! Don’t let your kids’ boredom run rampant. Adventures in Odyssey is here to save the day. Below are some must-try ideas for summer fun! Want even more summer fun? For the month of June, you can join the Odyssey Adventure Club for only $5! More details can be found here.

Summer Activities

As a parent you are probably a big proponent of reading. Encourage your kids to dig into a book or two this summer with Adventures in Odyssey’s On Your Marks Summer Reading Challenge. Bonus points if YOU create a reading challenge for yourself as you read along with your kids!

Looking for something hands-on? Create Matthew in 3-D! Invite a few of your kids’ friends over for a play date, print off the activity sheet, and let them have at it for the afternoon (with the promise of cookies and lemonade once they’ve finished constructing Matthew).

Maybe your kids aren’t into reading, but they love math. If that’s the case, have them solve Eugene’s Sudoku!

The laundry needs to be done; the dishes need to be put away. But your kids are begging you to take them out to the zoo. Let them take a whack at Matthew’s Decoder in the morning, then make an agreement that if they figure out how to use the decoder, you’ll take them on an afternoon adventure. That’ll give you the morning to finish up your to-do list!

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I can feel your anger…..

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I got angry at God the other day.

Nothing new. It’s happened before. And before. And before. And before.

Yep. It would appear I get angry with God a lot.

Because I do. I feel God plays favorites. And I am not one of them.

There are days where it feels like this for me

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;

Now, I’m about to do that thing where I tell you that I know what you’re about to say and I’m going to say it before you say it so that YOU know that I know.

Yes, things can always be worse and I should be grateful for what I have and my situation now. Plus there’s Acts 10:34-35.

Ok now that you’re done with that.

I still think God has favorites and I’m not one of them. Oh I know he loves me. I don’t doubt that at all. I know he’s faithful and everything will happen according to his plan. No worries there.

I just think there are some people who will go through life a lot easier than others. There are things that I want to happen, that I’ve been praying for to happen for years. That I’m still waiting on and have no idea if it ever will happen. Meanwhile I watch people left and right keep having everything I want happen to them, even when they aren’t looking for it, and it comes in abundance for them. I feel like no matter what choices I make in my life, they always seem to lead to me having to climb back UP the mountain while I watch people who I know will never have to go through a single trial even close to what I’ve been through.

And it’s not fair.

Well, life isn’t fair, you say. You shouldn’t compare yourself to others.

Sure you can say that. And I can tell you right back to shut your face.

Yeah, I said that. And I can still be angry at God. Do you know why? God can take it.

I used to be scared when I was growing up that if I were to tell God that I was angry or hurt, he’d kill me immediately. So for years, I lived in fear bottling up my emotions especially anger. To this day, I’m still not good at letting myself be angry because I am always afraid at showing true emotions to people because I feel they’ll tell me I’m just being over emotional or overreacting. And for me to show real feelings to God, while I’m getting better, is still hard because I feel like he could get irritated to me and have something worse to happen to make me shut up and be grateful.

The funny part though is whenever I get angry with God and I let him know, I don’t draw away from him. Instead I find myself drawing closer to him.

My favorite book in the entire Bible is Psalms. Paul is all good and everything for teaching but David is my emo boy who gets me. And there are MANY passages in the Bible where David cries out at God, accuses God of leaving him, gets downright furious with him. But David always knows that God has not truly abandoned him and that He is still with him.

Often when we’re angry, we either ignore God because we think we’re not allowed to talk to God that way, or we reject God because we think He’s not allowed to act that way. Either way, we must discipline ourselves to cry out to God from exactly the place where we find ourselves, or we might as well not cry out at all.

That’s it. We don’t need to figure out how we’re “supposed” to feel, we just need to do all we can to say, even through the gritting of teeth: “Here I am. Here’s why I hurt. Help.” Then you walk together, in a relationship, navigating the long ride home.
Read more at http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/practical-faith/can-i-be-mad-god#sgkcIbpvYoYQEmIk.99

The thing with me is that I know the truth. I know that God has not left me and still has some plan for me. And it may not even be during this lifetime that I get to see all of it. So yeah, I can be very logical and rational because I know all this. But there are times when I will get angry and I will get frustrated at God. And I’m just going to let it out.

You won’t be able to give me the answers I want and your pithy sayings won’t comfort me. Neither will your condescending attitude of what I should or shouldn’t be doing. If I ever come to you and I’m angry at God, just listen to me. That’s all you need to do.

Just sometimes it’s best to let out the emotion. And I truly believe that God understands it when you do.