Oh hello there. It’s been a long time since I’ve been here. To be honest, I’m not really sure who is still out there reading this.
As you obviously noticed, I took a long break from blogging. It was unintended and I had so many things that I wanted do during 2015 for the blog as well as with my own life. I had everything planned out of how I wanted the year to go. But to quote John Lennon: “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”
Last summer, my ex-husband passed away unexpectedly. It was news that I had not anticipated on hearing at this point in our lives. Maybe a few years ago, yes. In about 40-50 years, yes. But right now? No. Not at all.
I was completely unprepared for how the news would affect me. Even though we had both moved on with our lives, he was always going to be a part of my life. Hearing that he was gone hit me hard. Grief is a funny thing. Even though you think you know how you’ll act in a certain situation and you get all prepared, you never really are. Emotions that I didn’t know existed in me were everywhere. I saw the movie “Inside Out” during this time period and let me tell you, it is SPOT ON. Also tears galore.
I am glad that we had been able to talk to each other a few weeks prior to his death. It was a very good conversation. It was one that I believe that God blessed us with because we both got closure and was ready to truly move on.
After all that happened, I just didn’t feel like blogging again. I didn’t feel like reading either. I just wanted to live my life and move on but my creativity levels had decreased like whoa. Weirdly enough, I also felt that I was ready to really start dating again. And so I decided to bite the bullet and signed up for actual online dating websites. Unlike the last go round, I actually went out on a bunch of dates (free food! free beer!) and had a good time. I got to meet a lot of new people that I normally never would had the chance to have encounter. But honestly, dating is hard. It’s an emotional roller coaster. There were periods where I felt frustrated, my self-esteem seemed like it was going down the drain, nights of crying and praying, and long venting of anxiety sessions with friends. I wanted to give up several times.
And then the day before my birthday, I got a message from a guy about my name and reference to the show The Oblongs. We texted for a bit and he asked me out that same day. We went bowling a few nights later……and we’ve been together ever since. I am glad to say that I’m in love and I’m happy. Happier than I’ve been in a LONG time. He’s a pretty awesome dude if I do say so myself. We don’t have a PERFECT relationship (because I’m sorry, NO ONE does and if you think someone does, they do not) but we’ve been working on it together. There’s a lot of learning about each other and one’s self and sometimes it’s hard. But it’s a good relationship and like I said, I’m happy. So things are good.
Oh and my laptop broke several months ago and I’ve only JUST now replaced it so I can finally stop using my phone 100% for the interwebs and can finally type properly again.
I can’t promise that I’ll be blogging regularly like I used to. I don’t think right now blogging three times a week is in me at the moment. But I do miss writing so I’ll be back. It may be sporadic but I have things to say, things to share. Especially books. I have missed talking with you guys about all the books I’ve been reading. We need to bring that back.