Category Archives: Randomness

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The Dangerous Experiment

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I talk a lot on here about how I’m a shy extrovert. And how while I’m not always that good with being outgoing, I recharge by being around people I’m close with.

Every time I read a list about what introverts want the most on Buzzfeed, it’s about how they wish people would just leave them alone and not contact them. And this makes me paranoid that everyone is really like this and I’m just the weird one that wants to be around people.

However, believe or not, there are also days when I actually do want to be alone and not see anyone. There are days when I’m perfectly content with staying at home and reading books all day or going to the movies along because I don’t want to be with anyone. It’s not that extroverts need to be surrounded with people all the time. We need our downtime too. It’s like breathing underwater. And then I need to come back to the surface, take a few deep breaths, so I can go back down again.

Those days though come maybe every few weeks or so. I can only be myself willingly for so long.

Then I have days where, for whatever reason, I feel the need to see how long I can go without having people contact me.

Therefore I have days when I just want to see what happens if I don’t contact anyone and see if anyone actually responds. It’s a dangerous experiment to play because there is the potential that it can fail. It’s almost like I want to see if I died would anyone notice? How long would it take for someone to get in touch with me? And I would be absolutely crushed if no one did. I won’t lie. It’s a very selfish experiment because I’m not purposely trying to avoid people; I just want to see how much I matter.

But because I never announce in advance I’m going to do this (and why would I?), it always never happens. Only unless I completely shut off my phone, turn off my computer, and didn’t leave my house would I be able to avoid all forms of human contact. Somehow, someway every time I’ve tried this experiment, someone tries to get in contact with me.

So I try not to do this anymore. I don’t want to be a hermit. I like people. I love my family and friends. I would like to think that if I disappeared someone would notice. I don’t want to ostracize myself from others.

It’s not always about waiting around for someone else to make the first move. I’ve learned to reach out to others. If you want something, sometimes you have to go out and get it yourself. And especially since I can be shy about reaching out to others, when I do make the effort (vs. doing it all the time) it tends to pay off very well. If people have problems with me reaching out them occasionally then that’s their problem, not mine.

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There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don’t know how

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I saw a status in my Facebook feed this weekend that irked me a lot. The comments that followed didn’t help to stop the irritation. I didn’t respond though.

I see arguments on Twitter when I disagree with the things people are saying. Reading them sometimes makes the blood pressure go up. I don’t engage however.

Sometimes I’m standing in a group of people and there will be a debate where I have strong opinions in. While listening to the argument, I feel the need to punch a wall. But I don’t speak up.

There’s a lot of times that I want to say things but I don’t.

It’s not that I’m afraid to say something. It’s more so that other people shout louder than me.

There are folks that have VERY strong opinions and they are not open into hearing things from the opposing end. If I try to say something, it gets lost in the crowd. People speak over me. Even if I know I’m right and I have tons of things to back me up, it sometimes feels like it’s not enough to get the other person to hear me.

It’s great that you have your beliefs and if you feel confident in them, you shouldn’t back down. But what frustrates me is when they think their way is the only way and they refuse to learn or listen to anyone else.

Here’s an example for me: In case you still haven’t picked it up after reading my blog, I’m a Christian. I am very strong in my faith and I’m not going to change it. However, I take the time to learn about other religions. My minor was religious studies and it was probably one of the best decisions I made in my life. Because in doing so, it helped me make me see why I believe what I believe and it made my own faith stronger. But at the same time, it helped me to understand those of other religions a lot better because now I knew what they believe in and understand their POVs and I don’t need to scream about what I believe in.

Maybe I’m just weird. I’m strong in my opinions of what I like or believe in. But (outside of family) I’ve found that being belligerent about what you’re passionate about, even with people who do agree with you, doesn’t always lead to the best results.

Learning about the other side doesn’t mean you’ll sacrifice your own beliefs. Sometimes you need to stop shouting in order to make yourself be heard better.

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Just Know You’re Not Alone

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I found out this weekend that one of the other bridesmaids didn’t have their ears pierced either. This was basically my reaction:

I wasn’t alone!

Yes it’s a personal choice to not have my ears pierced and I’ve never really wanted to get it done (though I did get my eyebrow pierced back in college which eventually got closed up later on but that’s another story). But it was one of those moments where I didn’t feel like the odd man out anymore.

I walked up to a friend during the reception because he was standing in the corner alone. I was slightly worried that he wanted to be alone and I was intruding. This then became the conversation:

We’re both extroverts so we recharge being around other people. When we’re in our comfort zone with people we know and are close with, we are good to go. We act crazy, are very social, and we’re not afraid to be awkward. But put us in a situation where we only know a few people and it’s a larger crowd, and we shrink. We can’t really go up to people we’ve only met a few times because once you’ve exhausted the same conversation over and over again there’s only so much you can talk about without prompting from the other person. It’s hard to go up to someone you know very well when they are in a conversation with other people because you feel like you’re intruding. Everyone has their own little groups and there’s only so much standing outside of the group nodding that you can do before it gets weird. It’s easier when you are at a table and it’s more confined because you can focus better with the smaller group.

‘I certainly have not the talent which some people possess, of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done.’ – Fitzwilliam Darcy

Instead what you typically end up doing is going off by yourself, most likely with some beverage in your hand, to keep yourself busy while you scope out the crowd and recharge while you make your anxiety calm down a little. You’d like it if someone comes up and strikes up conversation even if it’s someone you don’t know, but when it’s one of your close friends it’s even better when they understand how you felt. So yes, he was thankful that I had come up to him to talk. .

After hearing him say basically everything that always runs through my mind in large social events, my reaction was this

It really makes you feel better when you find out you’re not the only one who feels certain way. When everyone else around you seems like they have it all together and you wonder if something’s wrong with you or if it’s just all in your head, finding someone else who has those same fears and anxieties makes you know you’re not alone and it’s going to be ok. There will always be people who can’t understand you but when you find someone who does, it’s always a win.

“Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another: “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .”- CS Lewis

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When Darcy finally met his Lizzie

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This week is going to be super exciting. Two of my best friends are getting married this weekend! And I couldn’t be happier for them. I’m really happy because I’m close friends with BOTH the bride and groom. I love this couple and am really glad they’ve included me in their day.

We have a running joke that their love story is basically Pride and Prejudice and well…this was them.

I’m also excited because this is the first time that I’ll be a bridesmaid in a wedding. I know, I know. There are several of you out there who have been in more weddings that you care to be in and you have all the expensive dresses to prove it. Not counting my own (which well, we won’t really talk about), the only other wedding I’ve been in was when I was 14 and my Sunday School teacher got married and along with the rest of the girls in our class, I was a junior bridesmaid. This meant that I helped out with food and got to decorate the car (butter + flour = one heck of a mess). This time, I’ve been there for lots of planning, bridal showers and bacherlorette parties, dress fittings, jewelry shopping, etc. I even checked out books from the library about how to be a good bridesmaid.

You know how everyone says that no one pays attention to anyone but the bride at weddings? Well maybe that’s true for everyone else but for some reason I’ve always noticed the bridesmaids. I’m always jealous of the wedding party. Everyone seems like they all know each other and it’s one big in-crowd. And not that it matters because no one will really be looking at me, I’m really excited about how I’m planning on doing my hair. Thank you to my friend for not being a bridezilla (really, she’s been the most excellent bride ever. Let’s do a TV show on NICE brides for a change?) and while we’re all wearing the same dress, we can be our individual selves in our hairstyles. I’m hoping it ends up looking nice because it’ll probably be different from everyone else, but very much ME. Pics may be posted at a later time.

Is there potential for this to be hard for me because 1) I had previously had a wedding before and 2) since I’m now single? A little. Not so much about my own wedding because that’s over and done with in the past. If/when I do get married again, there are things I will change plus it’d be a much smaller wedding. As for being single, I am disappointed that while I was allowed a plus one, I (not without trying, believe me) couldn’t fill it. As yet another one of my best friends gets married, my feelings of being left behind do intensify. There’s a temptation to feel like this every time I get invited to a wedding or hear of an engagement. And while I dread dancing at weddings for many reasons, slow dances are going to be worst because at this point if you don’t bring a date there is literally no one left to dance with.

But enough about me and my issues. This week is about two of my best friends getting married and how excited I am going to be for their wedding AND marriage. I don’t have the fear that I will lose them afterwards or that it will be a battle of married vs singles. I have been with them from the beginning and seen them go through all the ups and downs and ups again of a healthy normal relationship. I’ve seen them grow not only as a couple but individually they both have grown in ways that will compliment each other as well as positively on their own. I know they love each other and even though it’s not always going to be easy, they are going to have an awesome life together. I better stop talking now because I need to leave some words for toasts later on…..

To “Darcy” and “Lizzie”, I love you two! Congrats! From “Charlotte”

(This is not them…but it sure could be them 🙂

Photo Credit: Emily Blake Photography

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Adventures in Trying out New Food

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One of the things I’m grateful about living up in the DC Metro area is the diversity of cultures in the area. I grew up being one of the few Asian families in my city. This meant that I mostly acclimated to your basic American culture which is fine. But one thing that I do love about being up here is being exposed to all sorts of different kinds of food.

I LOVE trying out new things to eat. Except for beef (which you can read about here about why I don’t eat it), I’m usually game to try any type of food at least once unless it physically makes me want to throw up. I understand that people are picky eaters or not very adventurous when it comes to eating. Some people also see food as just something for sustenance and not really something to spend a lot of effort, time, or money on. And that’s ok. But for me, I really enjoy seeking out new foods and learning all there is out there.

Whenever I go out to travel, unless I absolutely have to, I avoid chain restaurants as much as possible. Why go to a new place and eat exactly what you can eat back at home? Local and regional restaurants are always fun to try out as ethnic restaurants. It’s also fun to discover new places in your own home. Just like this past weekend when after church, my friends and I discovered a complete hole in the wall Salvadoran restaurant where we were the only non Spanish speakers in the entire place. (What happens when a white girl and two Asians walk into a bar?)

I’m going to admit right now, I don’t normally take pictures of my food while I eat. I will also freely admit that these aren’t high quality pics. But they are a good example of different types of food I have tried over the years that were new to me dishes and INSANELY delish.

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Fried chicken and waffles with macaroni and cheese and green beans with candied lemon.

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When in Louisiana one must try red beans and rice with sausage. The plate to the right is “extra sausage”. I thought it was going to be ground sausage so I asked for more. Now I know why the waitress looked at me weird.

 

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A sampler of soups, one is she crab and the other alligator. I can’t remember the third alas.

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Paella

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Eating Korean food for the first time ever. Fried fish with all the side dishes (banchan)

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You can’t see it (obvs) but inside the burrito is chorizo. Nom nom

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Korean BBQ. Pork Belly and bulgogi are grilling.

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Mongolian stir fry. With bacon. And done.

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All the Small Things

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It’s been a crazy past few weeks in my life lately. Lots of ups and downs. Unexpected surprises. Anticipated downsides. Basically I feel like I’ve been living on a roller coaster lately. And I’m a lovely combination of being mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically exhausted.

However even with all the crazy that is going on in my life, I still managed to find several silver linings.

Disclaimer: Since I don’t have kids and I’m not married, the only thing I can really brag about is myself at the moment. And I as I normally hate talking about good things that happen to me because I’m worried about what others think, this is rather rare. So if anyone feels the need to tell me I’m talking too much about myself, keep it to yourself. (kthanksbye)

I woke up on Tuesday morning to the best news ever….I won tickets to see Josh Groban! There had been a contest from the venue’s location  to name your favorite JG song and I entered with saying about how I hadn’t really listened to his music until this past year and yay for “False Alarms.” Didn’t think at all that I’d win. And then boom I did. The really awesome part was that I was totally expecting lawn seats because why would they give away seats that people would pay more money for? Then I got the tickets in the mail.

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These are actual seats! In the balcony! This is pretty frakking awesome!

And yes, I did buy tickets to see him for the night before as well. I don’t need to defend myself at all. But right now, knowing that I’m going to have back to back nights of Josh Groban in my life is exactly what I need. Also he’ll be the host of (yet) another reality music competition show on TV this summer. So even if I don’t care about the music, I can have Josh Groban on my TV every week during the summer!

The winning streak continued later that day because then I won a Twitter contest from Noodles and Company.

Then on Wednesday, I got a text from Chick Fil-A saying I could get free chicken nuggets that day. Yay! Free lunch!

While I was there, I received an email from my favorite movie theater telling me that as a rewards member I got the chance to be the first to RSVP for an advance screening of The Fault in Our Stars. Oh and that it was free as well. Free movie??? BOOM, I RSVPed immediately. And the RSVPs filled up fast so I was extremely lucky to get one when I did. I feel like I should feel bad because I haven’t read the book yet but you know what, I’m not going to. I’m really excited.

I may write another post about how I seem to have good luck when winning contests. It appears that I do.

On Thursday, I was FINALLY able to get my bridesmaid’s dress in as this has been a huge source of worry for the past few weeks. And the alterations are going to be a lot cheaper than I expected, so yay! Plus that day I found out I will be receiving for review from Amazon, a very nice set of pots and pans which makes me really excited because I love to cook and these will be awesome for that.

Then this weekend was the bachelorette party for the wedding I’ll be in. And it was rather awesome. Spending time with some of my best girl friends was exactly what I needed. I can also now take a breather from wedding duties as I had planned the shower and the bachelorette weekend and now I’m all good until the actual wedding next month.

There’s still a lot of stuff going on in my life that I both need to figure out and also just turn over to God. But it’s really great to know that there are still good things in life that I can find joy in.

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Help-Rejecting Complaining (or I like being miserable because it gets me attention!)

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I was on Twitter the other day (fine, I’m on Twitter every day) and I saw a status from someone where they seemed to be complaining about something. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen this person jokingly complain about this situation. It’s something they’ve brought up many times over several YEARS (though to be fair, I only started noticing it a few months ago). And yet when solutions were offered, the person either rejected or ignored them.

It can be frustrating from the other end to keep seeing this happen. You think surely if someone is that unhappy or irritated with the current situation then wouldn’t you want a solution?  Why do you want to stay grumpy and complain all the time? I mean why keep bringing it up especially after someone gave you a possible out to the solution?

It baffles me trying to figure out why anyone would want to live like this. Am I the weird one who doesn’t want to be like this? Because I know for me, when I do vent or legitimately complain to someone, I try to make sure that 1) I’ve exhausted all resources I can to find a solution, 2) unless it’s something that can’t be fixed, I try not to keep bringing it up and 3) I don’t let the person who offered me the solution see me keep complaining because I don’t want to hurt their feelings.

So I took to Google to help me find out the reason why. It took me several attempts to come up with the right combination of words.

A “help-rejecting complainer” complains as a way to seek help and support, but then rejects any help that’s offered. Whenever anyone tries to make a constructive suggestion
– “Why don’t you try…?” or “Could you…?” — the help-rejecter insists that the advice is useless. In fact, help-rejecting complainers sometimes seem proud to be beyond help. http://www.gretchenrubin.com/happiness_project/2011/01/assay-a-useful-term-the-help-rejecting-complainer-why-dont-you-try-no-that-wont-help/

After doing more research, it seems that people do this because they get attention. And social media is the best place to for this to thrive. Because now you have the entire world to listen to you.

And in the scenario I described, it makes sense. I don’t know if the person thrives on the attention they get from these joking complaints, but obviously they want to share it with the world if they are posting it on Twitter. I guess I just notice it more because it hits too close at home when I did offer a possible solution only to have it ignored/turned down. And every time I see a complaint/comment related to this, I wonder if they realize I can see this and just don’t care that it feels like a slap in my face or if they never connected the two together and are completely clueless. I don’t understand people.

For most people, they would say just ignore them or block them. Don’t let it bother you if it doesn’t have to. And yes, I realize that I do have that choice. And it may come to that eventually. There’s not really any emotional ties making me have to stay connected to them. They may or may not even notice that I’ve disappeared. When I put it like that, it seems like a no-brainer right?

I think at least for me, I just want to know why. I want to understand why you keep complaining, why you rejected the help, or at the very least or why do want to keep publicly flaunting it where you know I’ll see it. I want to help. But sometimes help isn’t wanted and you need to just let go and walk away from someone who is either that toxic or just plain clueless.

There’s a difference between needing to vent once or having really big struggles that you’re trying to work through. It’s another to just keep complaining for attention’s sake.

And this is the last time you’ll hear me publicly complain about this 🙂

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It’s going to happen at the prom!

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With it being May, it means that it’s high time for prom season. If you haven’t already, you’ll be seeing high school kids wearing overly expensive dresses and tuxes, eating at fancy restaurants, and cruising in limos, almost every Friday and Saturday night this month. Prom has become an American rite of passage for high school students. Practically every teen movie you see has some prom sequence that serves as the climactic scene of the movie.

I remember how back then prom was SO IMPORTANT. And now looking back …it really wasn’t.

I went to prom both my junior and senior year. I was even on the prom committee junior year. Basically I did that so I could put it down on my college application. Our prom both years was held at a hotel in the city next to us on the waterfront. I remember we were really trying to push for the theme of “Waiting for Tonight” (based of the popular at the time J.Lo song) but instead got outvoted for some cheesy theme. Senior year was equally cheesy.20140427_150734

As for my dates, well you know how it’s the trend now to have huge elaborate prom-posals? (Just google it) Yeah not the case here. Junior year, there was a guy that was a senior that I asked to go. After giving me the run around for a few weeks (this seems to be a repeat pattern in my life) he eventually told me no because he wasn’t going to prom. Lo and behold, a week later another girl asks him to prom and he says yes. *SWEAR WORD* I ended up going with one of my good friends because his date ditched him at the last moment. We had a good time and it was probably for the best I ended up not going with the first guy. During senior year, there was a sophomore that I asked to go and he turned me down. After weeks of thinking I wasn’t going to go, finally another one of my friends asked me to go with him. Part of me is slightly suspicious now that he asked me because of the group that I ended up going with more so than because of me. This is due to the fact that during the actual prom I danced with him ONCE and never saw him again until we were all leaving.

I got my dresses while shopping with my mom at the mall both years. I chose blue for both dresses, junior year – ice blue, senior – navy blue. (I like blue.) They weren’t overly expensive, nor were they flashy or that memorable. I do remember pouring through all the teen magazines looking at the prom issues and very much wanting a Jessica McClintock dress but alas that one cost $$. The style at the time was for the poofy dresses and while I didn’t want too much poof, I did opt for some poof so that my dress made that nice swishing sound.

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(Just for privacy reasons, I’ve blurred my date’s face in case he wouldn’t want his face floating online.)

We got limos both years and did go out for fancy dinners. Prom itself was….ok. I didn’t dance much(though admittedly I probably did dance more than I do at weddings now. Some of the music was just really hard to dance to even though it was popular at the time. (How on earth are you supposed to “dance” to Limp Bizkit?) Basically there was no group dance where everyone dances in sync. Though there were choreographed ‘Nsync dances.

After prom both years, we all went down to the beach in Nags Head thanks to parents who owned beach houses down there. It was a pleasant way to relax afterwards. Though I do remember sometimes feeling a little left out and just of place when going there, almost like I didn’t really belong. Those weren’t good feelings. But it was nice to get away and just enjoy the peaceful nice of the beach after being stressed out from getting ready for prom. Even if we never actually went into the water because the Atlantic Ocean in May is FREEZING.

Then we got back to school on Monday and that was that. Like I said looking back, it does feel silly spending all that money and time and stress for just one night on dresses I never wore again. Prom was not the be all or end all for me. It was just a night with some good (and some not so good) memories. I wouldn’t go back and visit it to be honest but it is what it is. When I do have kids and their prom time comes, I’m sure I’ll most likely go through the same experience with them. I’ll only say once that it’s really not that big of a deal but then I’ll let them have their fun.

Because you know. Everything happens at the prom.

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‘Ramp’ing things up (Or my first food foraging experience)

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I was browsing online the other day like I always do and I came across an article about a list of foods that hipsters love.

I found it hilarious that one of the foods on the list was ramps.

Now I personally had never heard of ramps until exactly two years ago today, one of my best friends took me ramp digging (gathering, foraging?) out in West Virginia. Before the trip, I was like “What the heck is a ramp?” To me a ramp is an inclined surface, not something that one can eat.

The definition of a ramp from Wikipedia: Allium tricoccum – known as the ramp, spring onion, ramson, wild leek, wood leek, and wild garlic – is an early spring vegetable, a perennial wild onion with a strong garlic-like odor (ME: strong is an understatement) and a pronounced onion flavor. 

Our adventure had us go into the woods of West Virginia (don’t ask me where we went, there were lots of windy curves and we were in the mountains somewhere. I alternated between falling asleep and trying not to throw up. I would make a horrible witness.) to find this specialty vegetable. Since I had no idea what I was looking for, I let everyone else do the hunting while I got to hold the the bags we brought to collect the stuff. “So this is what it was like in the 1800s when one had to look for food,” might have been the thought that was running through my head during this whole expedition.

Eventually I figured out what I was supposed to be looking for (after numerous occasions of only pulling up weeds) though I became an expert at shaking off dirt from ramps that were collected by everyone else. I even got to eat a ramp raw, fresh out of the ground (with the dirt washed away of course). Erhm, that wasn’t an experience I’d like to experience again. As I stated in the definition above, the flavor is very STRONG. My face while tasting it generated a lot of chuckles.

The foraging part was quite fun. It was really nice being out of the woods and getting away from the noise of living in the city. It was really quiet and the air felt fresh. Granted, I was a bit nervous that a bear might come rambling out of the woods at any moment but my companions had protection and were well versed in all sorts of survival training. I may or may not have pretended I was in Survivor or Little House on the Prairie at certain times as we climbed over fallen logs, walked through streams, and got smacked in the face with tree branches. Also for the record, seeing a guy forage for food is pretty hot.

When it was all said and done, we got BAGS of these things.

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Bath Time!

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Before you ask, those hairy arms do not belong to me.

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Ramps reading for cooking!

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These things can be used in a variety of dishes. I found that I liked them best fried with potatoes. Once cooked you can’t taste the strong taste anymore and it pretty much is like an onion at that point. It was quite tasty that way. So basically, I got a bag of ramps for free. Which is an awesome deal because apparently this is how much a jar costs:

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Basically I did something that apparently many hipsters and foodies in big cities would pay $$$ to have that same experience. And the best part is I did it all without having any idea how “cool” it was. WHO’S THE HIPSTER NOW?

For more information about ramps from people who are more experienced than I am, check out:

http://foodriot.com/2014/04/23/gather-ye-ramps-ye-may

Feast of Foliage – Ramps / Wild Leeks

 

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If I were to give advice to my past self….

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One of my favorite plot devices in the Harry Potter series was the use of Hermione’s time turner. Why? Because there are times when I wish I could go back in time and change how I did things. Obviously since I know the future, in hindsight everything is 20/20. Where I am now in life is because of the choices I made, and I’m here where I am for a reason. What I wish I could do was to have an alternate timeline just to see how things would turn out if I did things differently. I’d still end up where I am now, but just to have a look as to “what if I had turned left instead of right”.

So here’s what some of the advice I’d give to my past self, knowing now what I do:

To my 5 year old self: Kindergarten is going to be ok. It’s ok for you to tell your teacher some boy kicked you in the head. It is NOT tattle telling no matter what anyone tells you. Also even though the pizza served in school looks nothing like pizza on TV, it is ok to eat it. Don’t have kids make fun of you for reading. YOU ARE AWESOME.

To my 9 year old self: Don’t give that boy you like a valentine. It’s not going to get you anywhere. Also you’re going to hit a major growth spurt soon. Enjoy being taller than the boys in your class for a few years.

To my 12 year old self: Middle school sucks. Don’t let the kids teasing about your hair,clothes, your name, or even for just being Asian get to you. People are mean and you don’t need/want them for friends. For reals. Also the Beatles are an awesome band. Just saying.

To my 13 year old self: Don’t date that boy who asked you out. Just…trust me on this one.

To my 14 year old self: You probably don’t want to send that letter to that senior from the Scholastic Bowl team from that other high school. While you may end up having a friendship for the next couple of years, is it really worth it? No.

To my 15 year old self: Even though your guidance counselors are telling you otherwise, if you really want to do engineering in college you need to start preparing NOW. Take all the engineering prep classes you can, take computer science, plan on studying hard core EVERY NIGHT. Those kids from NOVA are already ahead of you.

To my 17 year old self: If at this point you don’t know whether you want to go to school for engineering, I highly recommend history. Also this is the last year you will really be close to your high school friends. Enjoy it because it’s not going to last forever. Prom is overrated. BUT if you want to talk to that guy that works part time at Sears, do it sooner rather than later.

To my 18 year old self: STAY AWAY FROM THE BOYS. THEY ARE A DISTRACTION. Seriously. Trust me on this. Go to more football games. Get to know lots of people. Enjoy college life but STUDY STUDY STUDY.  Also if you’re going to drink your first beer, don’t make it a Natty Light. Turn off the AIM. TURN IT OFF.

To my 20 year old self: Since you didn’t listen the first time, STAY AWAY FROM THOSE SAME BOYS. THEY ARE A DISTRACTION. Seriously. Trust me on this. Also, is there any way you can invest in a small company called Facebook?

To my 24 year old self: If you start seeing red flags, even if you love the person, don’t ignore those red flags.

To my 26 year old self: You are going to get through this, I promise you. It seems like you want to die at this moment, but you are so much stronger than you think you are right now. And life seems like it’s going to hell but it’s going to be better. I promise you. You’re awesome. Even though you think you’re alone now, you’re going to find some of the best friends you’ll ever have soon. Also, I know you like geek stuff. It’s been kind of dormant for a while but it’s totally cool to go see Iron Man or Thor. You WILL like it. TRUST ME.

To my 28 year old self: I know you keep dismissing this show, but you really should go back and watch How I Met Your Mother. There are situations in that show that will help you so much this year. Also watch your heart and emotions. Don’t fall too hard too fast.

To my 29 year old self: Stop drinking Diet Mountain Dew after 7pm. WILL YOU NEVER LEARN? Also watch out for deer.

To my future self: I seem to keep doing things the hard way in order to learn how to do them the right way. Maybe one day things will change. You’re still awesome though.