As a single 30 year old, I have a lot of friends that are dating, engaged, or married. I find myself a lot of times being the odd numbered person in the group or at the very least the third wheel. Now as long as THEY don’t have a problem with it, I have no qualms at all with hanging out with couples. While I know that it can be fun to hang out with other couples, it can also be quite fun to hang out with just a single friend as well. With almost all the couples I hang out with, I’m good friends with both the guy and the girl so it’s not like I’m favoring one over the other. And I’ve found that I can learn a lot from them. I’ve seen what a good marriage/relationship looks like, I’ve learned that just because you have a significant other doesn’t mean all your problems are solved, and also that it is possible (for me at least) to know that there ARE good guys out there and what traits I should look for.
However there are times when I worry “Oh gosh, have I become the token single friend?” I was reading a book the other day and the main character was the younger sister of the guy in a couple and she had been invited over for dinner. It was after the meal and they were hanging out when this thought came to her mind: “The problem with being a guest of a couple is you never know just how long you’re supposed to stay.” And I was like, that is so true!
I’m fine throughout the main part of the night. It’s always after the fact, when there’s a lull in the conversation when I start thinking, should I leave? Should I ask them to ask me to leave? Do they want me to stay? Are they waiting for me to leave? Are they regretting asking me over in the first place? Before you ask, yes I worry about things like this and with almost every situation I go through billions of questions run through my head.
Then as my trusty friend (who is also the husband in their relationship) pointed out, it could be worse.
If the day ever comes when this has to happen to me, I have failed. To all my dear couple friends, don’t let me fail.
4 thoughts on “Sidewalks are not big enough for three people”
YES. This post is basically my life right now. I inevitably feel like the tag-along single friend, and it’s so awkward.
Most of the time I have no problems being the third party. If they invite me, I figure they wanted me around. It’s when I do the asking, and then I start feeling the awkwards.
Most of us have been there at some point or another. I remember years ago hanging out with a married couple who were friends of mine, and got to one of those awkward lulls where I was like “Well, I guess I should go…” and they laughed & said “Why?” So I ended up staying & talking another couple hours.
It’s good to know I’m not the only one who’s felt this way. For the record, I feel like I could talk to you two for hours. You’re one of the fun ones.