First off, I will promise you, readers, that I will not spend this entire blog lamenting on the fact that I have turned 30. You can be assured of that. As I said yesterday, I see it as a new adventure. But seeing as how yesterday was my 30th birthday, I think I am granted a little leeway just for today. Deals?
When I was a youngling, 30 was old. My mom had me when she was 29. I specifically remember the episode of Full House when Danny turns 30 and how he felt old. (First off, DJ is at least 11 years old in that episode, so did Danny and Pam get married and have kids while they were still in college? How was Danny still involved in a frat at that point? *FULL HOUSE NERD*) People at 30 had their lives already in place because they were adults. They had their jobs lined up, were married and had kids, and knew what was going to happen in their life.
Then as I got older, I thought I knew where I was going to be in my life at 30. I figured I’ll be married, have at least one kid, and I’ll have my job all squared away, and I’ll have my house. It wasn’t going to be perfect but I thought I would have accomplished those goals.
Well here I am, and unfortunately none of those goals have planned out the way I wanted to. Now mind you, I’m not horribly depressed by that. Sure, I feel kinda sad that I’m not there. And truth be told, it’s possible that I may never get there. But I hope to. Just my timing is not where I planned it right now. I’m kinda a late bloomer anyways.
TRUTH: It can be tough to see my friends get married, buy houses, have awesome careers, and having kids.
HARDER TRUTH: It’s harder when people younger than me achieve all these things multiple times (well not the married part).
HARDEST TRUTH: There’s a huge fear that none of that will never happen to me.
Now that we have gotten that out of the way…..
I have been learning not to compare myself with others. When I find out any of the above things happen to people I care about, I am so thrilled for them. I do not want to be a Debbie Downer and want the rest of the world to suffer because things aren’t going my way. Not at all. It’s all about a learning curve with me. People who know me may never understand how I struggle with these things. And that’s ok.
Because I’m going to make the best out of this situation because that’s all I can do. There may be nights when I cry and feel frustrated because of where I am. But while “there may be pain in the night, joy comes in the morning.” And that’s what I’m going to live for. And I’m going to make this upcoming year be awesome and live my life to the fullest. I know that God’s put me in this situation for a reason. And I’m not going to sit around all the time bemoaning it. I’m happy and I’m going to be happy.
Last year, I had an informal list of “Things I Want to Do Before Turning 30”. I think this year (and for the rest of my life) I will just have a list called “Things I Want to Do”.