Category Archives: Randomness

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From your friendly movie rental clerk

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A few weeks ago Blockbuster announced that they were shutting down for good. And thus marks the end of the last big movie rental chain. Now I never had the experience of working for Blockbuster but I did work for several years at Movie Gallery. And it was quite an adventure working there. In memory of Blockbuster, here are some tales of my days as your friendly movie rental clerk.

Highlights:

Free movie rentals – I got to watch all the newest releases before they were released for free and then I could watch all the back listed titles as well. As a movie lover, this was a HUGE bonus and helped to increase my movie knowledge. I discovered lots of little indie gems along the way that I would have never found otherwise. I also got a bunch of a movie posters that still grace my bedroom back in my parents’ house.

Buying discounts – We ran several used DVD sales (buy 2 get 2 free) and since I worked there, I could take advantage of seeing which DVDs had been rented and which copies had never been touched. Therefore I got several brand new DVDs for very discounted prices. And since we got discounts on food/drink, I will admit there was a time when Sprite Remix (remember that!) ran a promotion and the prize was on their bottle cap. So as it’s a clear liquid, I spent an afternoon and looked through the bottom of the bottle to find what the prizes were so I could buy the bottle. And the prize was..free movie rentals at Blockbuster!

I got to meet Marion Jones, the well… disgraced Olympian. She came into the store and set up and account and everything with me.

Giving recommendations – There were times when customers were actually receptive to listening to what I suggested. And it was fun to get to know regulars who trusted my movie advice and trivia.

Being good at this. It was a VERY minimum wage job and I knew I definitely wasn’t going to do it forever but it was helping me through undergrad and I enjoyed it. I got paid to watch movies and for the most part it wasn’t horrible. I was the top seller and I got to be a manager and it was fine for what it was.

Lowlights:

Now there were several differences between Movie Gallery and Blockbuster.  I mean first off, the name. Movie Gallery and Blockbuster are obviously two different names. And yet, we would get people dropping off Blockbuster movies all the time. It’s one thing to stick it in the slot after hours. But to walk INTO the store?

Movie Gallery also had a back room for …well we’ll call them grown up movies to not attract the spam bots. Yep. That was a thing. I did not like going back there to reshelve and I always used hand sanitizer after checking in/out movies. The most awkward moments happened when people would hand me Asian grown up movies to check out. And I’m like, well let’s make this transaction happen very quickly.

Late movies – People will come up with all sorts of excuses as to why they haven’t returned a movie yet. Also awkward was when someone had a grown up movie that was late and the spouse didn’t realize they had checked it out. Just a note: if you’re going to do that, don’t check these out on the family account.

Apparently there are hundreds if not thousands of people who drive around without their license. How do I know this? By the MANY people who tried to open up accounts and when I asked for identification, they didn’t have any picture IDs on them (yet everyone seems to carry around a Social Security card). Yet all those people drove to the store. It was severely tempting to call the cops on them after they left.

Now Movie Gallery didn’t have those programs where you could rent all you want or no late fees. No, we had a stupid discount rental card where for $19 you got $27 worth of rentals. And we had to sell those. I somehow managed to be the top seller but do you know how hard it is to promote something that is essentially not really a good deal? I think I conned a lot of people.

Getting asked out by customers – I got asked out over the phone by a customer and then another left me a note on the car. Neither were ones I would have considered going out with (and not to worry, they were not one of those who checked out the Asian grown up movies) plus the fact that they do it in person was also a strike in their favor. The ones I actually wanted to, never did though.

Trying to explain why widescreen was better than full screen was a failure. This was back when DVDs were still offering both versions and customers would always complain about the black bars. Also trying to recommend a foreign film was like offering poison, no one will take it because they don’t want to “read a movie”.

Getting yelled at by customers. I got yelled at lot because customers had late fees or didn’t return movies on time or because we didn’t have the movie they wanted. My absolute favorite was calling the late list and there was a lady who was insistent that she had returned the movie, started yelling at me, told me I was worthless because I was working in a movie rental store and she was a successful business woman etc. Then lo and behold two hours later, her husband comes into the store with the movie and apologized for her as it had been on his side of the nightstand. That’s right lady, don’t show your face.

Being held up at gunpoint. Yeah you read that right. It was a Friday night (April Fool’s day, no less) and I was shift manager and I was prepping the new releases for the upcoming week, and I clearly remember one of those movies being Sideways. The door rang, I said my spiel of “Hello, welcome to Movie Gallery”, I look up and there’s a gun being pointed at me. I remember time slowing down and everything freezing. My insides immediately stopped working and I went on auto pilot. The guy (turned out to be a teenager) was wearing a hood and covered his face and told me to give him the money in the drawer. I went over the cashier, tried to catch the eye of my coworker and he told me to stop. I took out the money, luckily I had just done a cash drop so there was maybe like $150 in there. I asked him if he wanted the change as well. Then he ran out the store. It wasn’t until about 2 hours later that I started shaking. And that was the last night I worked at Movie Gallery. What a way to go out! For the record, they did catch the guys, they were robbing a bunch of movie stores all over the area.

And that’s just some of my adventures working at the video rental store. It’s sad to think that my kids will never be able to experience that and it will just be a legend when I tell them these stories. RIP movie rental stores.

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A Thing I Fear the Most

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I’m about to reveal something that is a deep and dark secret.

I have a fear of Ronald McDonald.

Stop laughing.

I don’t like clowns to begin with. Male clowns are actually the worst.

It began in kindergarten. Mind you, my parents didn’t take my sisters and I out that much when we were very little. I don’t ever remember going to McDonald’s before I turned 5 nor did we watch a lot of TV during that time.  So my interactions with this clown was very limited if any. I remember going to a school assembly and being excited. Then as I’m seated high in the bleachers with my classmates, this man comes out dressed in a yellow suit, white makeup, and red hair, and I remembered suddenly being terrified.

I don’t know why but I just remember a sense of fear gripping me and I was glad that was I high up and away from him. To a five year old, the image of a man who covered his face with makeup and that garrish red wig was enough to provoke nightmares. And they did.

I remember this nightmare as clear as when it happened 25 years ago. My younger sister and I were running together in a world where everyone was turning into Ronald McDonald’s. It was a very bleak world as we ran and hid from clowns left and right. We got behind a car and stopped for a minute to catch our breaths. I turned to her to make sure that she was ok, and then saw that her hair had turned red. I woke up screaming.

To this day, I will not approach anyone dressed up as Ronald McDonald. Those statues of him on the benches in front of the restaurants? I avoid them. Like I said, I don’t like clowns in general. If you are a horrible person and want to make an enemy of me for life, all you have to do is dress up like one and you will ensure that 1) you will never be friends with me ever again and 2) you will inflict deep trauma on my life. Maybe for this reason, I rarely visit the inside of an actual McDonald’s in the fear of him randomly hanging out. For the record, I never wanted to visit McDonaldland. Grimace, Hamburglar, Birdie, and the gang can all hang out without me.

Here is the first commercial starring him. Tell me this is not terrifying.

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Tweeting thoughts from someone wiser than me

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If you follow me on twitter (@beatccr for those who don’t), then this post is going to be basically a repeat of things you’ve already seen from my twitter feed.

For the past few months, I’ve been following @thesinglewoman on twitter. Mandy Hale, also know as The Single Woman, is a blogger and author of the book The Single Woman: Life, Love & a Dash of Sass. I’ve really enjoyed her book as it’s been really helpful and inspiring to me over the past few months. She also tweets A LOT of inspiring thoughts, quotes, and excerpts from her book. And I feel like there have been times when the perfect tweet from just jumps out at me. Apparently it’s happened MANY times.

Here’s a list of all the tweets of hers that I’ve retweeted over the past few months. No, I don’t retweet everything. These are just ones that stood out to me, that came at times when I knew I needed to see/hear them.

  • It hurts to let go. It hurts more to hold onto someone who doesn’t want to be there.
  • Sometimes all you can do is let go, trusting that if it’s meant to be…it’ll stick around.
  • If you take a chance, good things might happen or bad things might happen. But if you don’t take a chance, nothing happens.
  • I’d rather respect you for hurting me with honesty than resent you for “protecting me” with a lie.
  • The moment will come when you know exactly why things happened as they did.  It may take some time but it will come.
  • You can’t force something to happen. All you can do is surrender and trust that what is meant to be will find a way.
  • When you stop trying to MAKE things happen on your timetable and surrender, you invite God to show up and work miracles.
  • Prayer:  God I trust you to give me what YOU want, when you want according to YOUR plan not mine.
  • The things you don’t stress tend to turn out best. Trust and let go.
  • Sometimes all you can do is let go and let God figure it out for you.
  • Prayer:  God I trust in your plan and I know that everything I don’t understand now will make perfect sense later.
  • You will get to where you need to be in your own time. Until then breathe and be patient with yourself and your process.
  • “It will all work out in the end. Have faith in your self and leave the rest to God.” – Leon Brown
  • There is no one and no force strong enough to close a door that God intends for you to walk through.
  • It’s better to try and be disappointed than to not try and always wonder.
  • Prayer:  God help me to let go of my need to know what’s going to happen next and to Just. Trust. You.
  • You may not see it or understand it now, but everything in your life is unfolding as it should. Trust the process.
  • Prayer:  Thank you God that things happen when they’re meant to happen, not in my time but at the PERFECT time.
  • When you try to control everything, you enjoy nothing. Relax. Breathe. Trust. Let go.
  • Strength is choosing to get up and get on with it even if you never understand why something happened the way it did.
  • Prayer:  God, thank you that I don’t have to stress, rush or force.  What you have for me always arrives right on time.
  • Letting go doesn’t mean you stop caring. It means you stop trying to force others to.
  • Be patient. With time, everything becomes clear.
  • We’re not meant to see the picture all at once. God hands us each piece of the puzzle as we’re ready for it.
  • Prayer: God thank you that even when things happen that don’t make sense, I can always trust in your plan.
  • Some things aren’t to be understood. Sometimes you just have to let go and move on, trusting that clarity will come later.
  • If everything you pray for came to you right now, you wouldn’t be able to handle it. Trust in God’s perfect timing.
  • “I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.” – Douglas Adams
  • When you learn to surrender and let go rather than cling and control, everything falls into place as it should.
  • Prayer:  God, I surrender to your plan, whether it lines up with your completely deviates from my own.
  • If you stopped calling, inviting, doing all the work, would they still be in your life? If the answer is no, let them go.
  • When you step back and look at the big picture, you will see that things happened exactly the way they needed to. TRUST.
  • Sometimes all you can do is sit in the sweet surrender of not knowing how it’s going to turn out, but choosing to be happy anyways.
  • When you stop banging on the closed doors, you give God room to open up the ones you’re meant to walk through.
  • When you let go of what you think is “supposed” to happen you’re free to enjoy whatever DOES happen.
  • Prayer:  God, thank you for bringing me things when I’m ready for them and not one moment sooner.
  • Love can’t be forced Sometimes all you can do is take a step back and let them figure out how they feel.
  • When you accept the things you cannot change, anxiety, worry, and stress disappear.
  • A good way to know who’s really meant to be in your life? Let go and let God decide who stays and who goes.
  • When it seems as nothing is happening, you are in a season of preparation for everything that’s coming next.
  • Never lose hope. Even the most ordinary moment can set the stage for the most extraordinary miracle.
  • You can let go without fear. The only things and people you will lose are the ones that aren’t meant to be there.
  • Faith says that even though you can’t see that breakthrough, that answer, that blessing…it’s on it’s way.
  • It’s often in the moment when you finally surrender and admit that you don’t know what to do that God shows you what to do.
  • Just because it’s not happening the way you thought doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen. God loves to do the unexpected.
  • Don’t get discouraged if it seems nothing’s happening. A season of waiting and preparation always precedes the breakthrough.

Again I swear I didn’t retweet everything. These all just happen to be exactly what I needed to hear and read. Though it’s quite scary how much they fit what’s going on in my life. It’s given me a lot to think and pray about as I struggle with and try to understand things that are going on in my life. Maybe one day, I’ll be able to share my stories like this to other folks like she does. But until then, I’ll keep being encouraged and inspired.

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Where’s the beef?

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Rib Eye Steak November 26th, 2009

If you’ve ever eaten a number of meals with me, you’ll soon discover that I don’t eat a certain type of food.  Except for one incident, I haven’t eaten beef in over six years.

Why, you may ask, would I give up a source of delicious protein that eliminates steaks, corned beef, and hamburgers from my diet?  No, I’m not a vegetarian. It’s not because of religious reasons. And I’m not allergic to it.

Well you see, it’s because of Five Guys. Back when I was studying at Virginia Tech, a new burger place opened in the shopping center across from my apartment. Being completely naive, my boyfriend at the time and I went to eat there soon after they opened and both ordered burgers and two orders of large fries. Now if you have ever eaten there, you will immediately know what our mistake was. There were enough fries to feed half the Virginia Tech football team in that order. But the bacon cheeseburger I got was so delicious. At the time, my experience with burgers had mainly been the fast food kind, meaning I had never really had a real burger. I quickly became quite addicted to them. When I moved back home, I found out that there was a Five Guys that had just opened in the Virginia Beach area (the only one at the time) and I found myself driving out there to get my fix. I soon discovered that eating these burgers was becoming slightly unhealthy for me. And while one may argue there are many things that could have been done, I decided for me that the best way for me to stop was to cut beef out of my diet completely.

One of the last Sundays in September 2007 was when I made the conscious decision not to eat any more beef. I actually had started a few days ago, but after going into a sandwich shop in Richmond I completely forgot that a Reuben was made out of corned beef. It was my last Reuben sandwich and the last time I ate beef for the next six years.

Well I take it back. I was in Philadelphia for a work trip in May 2012, and well, I was in Philly. I had to eat a cheesesteak IN Philly. So we went to Tony Luke’s  where I got a cheesesteak with American cheese. It was pretty good. Nothing spectacular. I was slightly worried that I would get sick afterwards but I ate slowly and all was fine. It didn’t make me crave beef afterwards, and neither do I crave more cheesesteaks. It was one of those, I had do to it at the time moments and now I can cross it off my list.

Are there any times when I do crave beef? Not really. I’ve found that I can find substitutions for almost anything. If I want a burger, there are some really awesome turkey burgers out there. I mean I don’t go crazy and order them every night but they are becoming more mainstream. There are some awesomely delicious ones and then some that taste like dry cardboard. I also might get a veggie or black bean burger if that is a choice as well. And yes, I have been known to order non meat burgers and still ask for bacon on it. Ground turkey (or basically any ground meat) is also a great substitute for any recipe that calls for ground beef. You can’t really tell the difference at all.

Most steakhouses also offer ribs, pork chops, or chicken if you’re not going to order beef. I do love going to Brazilian steakhouses because even though there are all the obvious cuts of beef ready for you, there are plenty of pork, chicken, and lamb options as well. One can easily get stuffed without touching any of the steak at all.

Actually the only thing that you can’t really substitute is corned beef. Missing out on a traditional corned beef dinner on St. Patrick’s Day and all the Reuben sandwiches is a bit tough. I have yet to find another cut of meat that mimics the taste. But it is ok. I’ve lasted 6 years without one. I can go another 6 more. My friends have been pretty awesome with this. I try my darn hardest to not make it an issue since it’s not a health or religious reason for my non-eating. They have been glad to get other options for me and it warms my heart when I hear that turkey burgers or hot dogs were bought specifically for me without asking and it’s not a problem at all. As far as I can tell, I hope I have not been an inconvenience.

So if you dine with me or I feed you, I have no problems with eating beef or cooking it for you. Just be prepared for me not to eat it. And now you know why.

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A Woman’s Right to Shoes

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Warning: This is going to be a fairly girly post. Deal with it.

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So I’m not that girly when it come to a lot of things.  I just never have been.  Though lately that seems to have changed.

True story: sometimes when I’m feeling down and I’m out shopping, I’ll go try on shoes. I won’t necessarily buy any of them but just the simple act of going window shopping for shoes makes me feel better.

I am really a girl when it comes to shoes. It’s funny because it didn’t used to be.  I just wore basically the same 2 pairs for everything and maybe had a few pair of dress shoes that made appearances only when I had to.  Then again, I wasn’t the one buying the shoes back in the day. My first major splurge on shoes was a pair of blue and yellow Vans that I bought from a surf shop for $80.  I loved those bad boys and wore those things everywhere.  It was a combination of I really loved them and I had to justify the high cost I paid, but I wore those things out.  I would love to find another pair of them on Ebay or something but sadly I don’t remember what the name was and I can’t even find a picture of them online.

Then I grew up.  And now I love shoes . My favorite place to get shoes is DSW. I really love DSW. If you have ever met me in person, and you mention that you like shoes, I will do everything in my power to get you to shop there and help you save money.  I think they have the best shoe selection, really good deals, an awesome rewards program, and their social media presence is one I wish a lot of other companies would follow. I have gotten so much free stuff from them and it’s fun going shoe shopping with friends. This post is not a plug for them FYI.

Since I’m rather short (I’m only 5’3), I love wearing heels and the higher they are the better.  Now I’m also rather clumsy, so I have to be careful with the type of heel I get.  I would break my neck with an extremely skinny stiletto.  But I’ve now gotten used to wearing heels that are up to 4.5 inches (as long as they also have a platform in the front).  Sadly, I still am not taller than some people in those heels, as they like to remind me all the time. You won’t ever see me running in heels unless you want me to die of a broken neck (this was my major problem with the movie In Time) but I can get around in mine quite well. I also scored a couple pairs of sandals as well that I really adore.

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I love boots as well.  I got this awesome pair of brown boots last year as part of my costume for Katniss to wear to DragonCon (another post for another day) and they are the best boots ever.  I also really like wearing knee high boots but as I have wider calves, it can be hard of a challenge to find a pair that fit.  Not to be all “grass is greener on the other side” but I seriously envy women with skinny calves.  This season I got a pair of black high heeled boots and a pair of brown riding boots that I love and will go quite well with dresses and skinny jeans this fall/winter.

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When it comes to casual shoes, I’m kind of a hipster.  I have a pair of TOMS that are pretty worn out, a  pair of Chuck Taylors, and these awesome aqua blue retro New Balances.  Seriously, I love how the color stands out and you can’t help but notice them.  For someone who went most of their life wearing a lot of black, color on me is a nice surprise.  I do also own a pair of Steve Madden black flats that go with EVERYTHING. They are such a wonderful staple.

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So shoes. Yes. They are fun.  I’m no Carrie Bradshaw who needs a closet just for shoes, and I don’t believe I will ever spend more than $80 on a pair of shoes ever in my life (no shoe is worth that much to me.) But to me, they help to define my personality a little better. And it’s fun. 🙂

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It comes in pints?!

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Disclaimer: I am neither a beer critic or a heavy drinker. I am simply a beer fan.

Alcohol was never considered the devil’s drink in my house growing up but my parents didn’t drink. Due to my own personal religious convictions in high school, I had no desire to drink and may or may not have judged people my age who did back then. I went to college and actually resisted for a few months. Then because of a boy, I had my first two drinks, a Diet 7-Up mixed with gin and a Diet Sunkist mixed with rum.  After that, my next move would be to start trying out beer.

My first beer sadly was a Natural Light. I remember thinking how god-awful it tasted. My friend and I would alternate eating chips between sips. And so began a few years of drinking cheap beer because, well when you’re underage and can’t buy your own beer, beggars can’t be choosers. I went through a stage where I actually proclaimed that drinking 40s of Miller High Life was my favorite beer. All I knew of beer during those years was Coronas, Bud Lights, and the like. Drinking was mainly done not with the purpose of actually enjoying the taste of the beer. Ironically, a month before I turned 21 I stopped drinking. Yep, right before I was legal enough to actually buy beer, I decided to quit completely. For the next 7 years I was sober and became everyone’s designated driver.

Then I got older and I decided I wanted to get back into the tasting alcohol again but this time I wanted to do it right. I didn’t want to drink to get drunk, make myself pass out, or get sick. I knew that I did not want to drink any of that crap I used to drink again. My memories of beer was tasting something that akin to drinking cold/warm piss/vomit. And yet I knew that there must be good beer out there. Surely people did not spend all that money drinking stuff that tasted horrible.

My first beer to get me started again was a Blue Moon. Now I know what all you beer snobs and enthusiasts think about that. But I found it delicious and refreshing. I was like “Wow! This is actually good! I like this!” So since then, I’ve been trying to discover new beers. I now know what I like (mostly wheat beers) and I’ve basically learned that if I just tell the bartender or whoever that I like Blue Moon and can you recommend me something like that, usually I can find a new beer that I like. Other than Blue Moons, I mostly drink craft beers and have found almost all of them extremely tasty and delicious. It’s fun trying out new beers, and I’m getting better at finishing a whole entire pint without passing out now!

The biggest thing I’m learning is that beer is so much better when you enjoy the taste. I don’t drink to get drunk. It’s more about enjoying the flavor of the beer. I have had tastes of beer that I don’t like. Apparently I’m not a big IPA fan and I tend to stay away from darker beers. I haven’t had a mainstream beer since I started redrinking. To me those beers were mainly chugged fast, because they tasted so awful and thus one gets drunk faster.  Whereas now, I savor my beer. I don’t nurse the thing though. I do also like cocktails as well though I am not a wine drinker at all. (But those are topics for another day)

My only problem with any sort of drinking is that I get that dreaded Asian glow where I turn bright red and I get really warm after drinking just a bit. It’s only annoying because you can definitely tell what I’ve been doing. But I’ve gotten used it and it’s now just a running joke. Just if you ever go drinking with me, expect to see a bright red face after just a few sips.

So what do I want from you, dear readers? Recommend me some good beers! To start you off, I like Blue Moon. Pretend to be a bartender and go from there! I’m counting on you! Also if you’re on Untappd, feel free to friend me @beatccr. Sadly I only just started using the app so I don’t have too many beers up yet but SOON.

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Dancing at Weddings = Awkward Times

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dancing up a storm

Random people dancing up a storm (Photo credit: phandcp)

Confession:  I don’t dance.  Period.  Well not in public at least.

Bigger Confession: I don’t really dance at weddings. Doesn’t happen. I didn’t really dance that much at prom either.

I just feel like I look incredibly awkward when I dance. I don’t know what to do with my hands, my arms, my legs, or my feet. I’m awkward and extremely clumsy.  There was one time I did get out on the dance floor at a wedding last year and then what happened? I slammed into a friend and spilled Coke all over his suit.  I went to a club once and it was just awful. I didn’t know what to do with myself and it doesn’t help when you have to bring a purse inside and there’s no good place to put it down.

Sure, you can give me the argument that everyone looks awkward on the dance floor. Ok, we all know that is a lie.  Some people are born naturally with rhythm and move well.  Others just like getting out on the dance floor and letting out energy and being social no matter what they look like because it’s fun for them.

Then there’s folks like me who really are ok with just being there and not being on the dance floor. I honestly don’t feel left out when I’m sitting on the side watching you guys get your groove on. I don’t feel self conscious or awkward or clumsy when I’m watching from a table. I feel way more uncomfortable trying to dance and then I don’t enjoy it at all.

I think part of the reason is with my personality, I hate it when everyone already knows how do something and I have to catch up. Remember back in PE class when they taught us all the line dances during rainy days when we had to stay inside? Somehow EVERYONE already knew how to do the electric slide and I was the only one who didn’t and both my classmates and the teacher made me feel like an idiot for not being able to learn it like *SNAP*. So since then, I’ve just never really had any motivation to get up in front of other people and dance.  Also I think what happens is that people will beg me to come on the dance floor, I finally cave in and do it, and then said people disappear, leaving me to feel, WHY AM I OUT THERE AGAIN??

One more excuse is the music. There are songs that I DO like and CAN move around to and IF those songs are played, there is a higher chance of me being able to be convinced to get out on the dance floor.  Unfortunately the majority of these songs are not really played at weddings and/or the couple has a HIGHLY different music taste than I do.  Oh and for the record, if you try to get me to do a line dance (Electric Slide, Cupid Shuffle, etc), you will fail. And it will be miserable on everyone’s end.

However since I will be a bridesmaid at a wedding where I am best friends with both the bride and groom, I have been threatened that I must dance or I will be demoted. Therefore, all the above probably will have to be amended if I want to be a good friend and bridesmaid. I can change my ways.

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How to Get Likes on Facebook When You’re Single

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So I’ve reached that age in life when the majority of my friends are engaged, married, and/or having kids. I’m sure many of you can relate to how you go on your Facebook feed and every day there are statuses of people starting to date, getting engaged, wedding photos, pregnancy announcements, and then the onslaught of baby photos.

And then because birds of a feather flock together, when you see the first initial post of a relationship status change or the baby announcement, everyone and their mother and tech-savvy grandmother likes and comments on those posts.  And it keeps building.

Again not that it’s a competition and may I be the first to say that any time any of my friends have a major life event happen to them I am thrilled beyond belief.  I AM NOT BITTER!

But to quote Carrie Bradshaw: “Think about it. If you are single, after graduation there isn’t one occasion where people celebrate you. … Hallmark doesn’t make a “congratulations, you didn’t marry the wrong guy” card. And where’s the flatware for going on vacation alone?”  It’s true.  If one does not get married or have a baby, whether by personal choice or beyond their control, but has friends who do both, the single friend is always celebrating for them, yet does not really get the same treatment in return.

So I have been conducting an informal tally of my Facebook statuses and it’s been determined that if you’re single, things that get the most votes (at least for me) are getting a new job (which happened to me this Friday!) and buying a car after you get into accident caused by a deer. Seriously, people come out of the woodwork for those things.  These are people from high school you never talk to, college friends you thought forgot about you, people you can’t remember friending, etc.  I mean these folks don’t even tell you happy birthday. I guess it’s easier to like a post vs. write a comment.  I can assume that if I bought a house or graduated with a major degree, these two events might fall into this category as well.

I will be curious though if/when I do change a relationship status, if that would generate more likes/congratulatory comments.  Are people happier when they know you are with someone or still happy for you when they see that you can handle things on your own?  Also is it different when you do these things as a single woman vs a single man?

Not that any of this matters. I do not need social media to give me validation on what is important in life or how important I am. I just find it interesting what kinds of life events that people will approve of and be happy for…..as I like the status of news of a friend’s engagement.

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Random Things that Pop in My Head During Worship

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I’m not ashamed to admit that I love worshiping in church.  I really enjoy the songs that my church sings and the music is awesome.  I’m not going to lie though.  Sometimes random things just pop in my head while I’m worshiping. Now before you start going all  “Do whatever you want to do, no one is going to judge you”, these are just things that randomly pop up in my head.

  • When the lyrics talk about “lifting hands”, is that the right time for me to raise my hands? Should I wait until that moment?
  • When the lyrics talk about “opening our eyes” should my eyes be open and looking up? Is it weird if I’m singing with my eyes closed during those lyrics?
  • When the lyrics talk about standing/rising up and it happens to be when the congregation is sitting down, should we be standing up? What if we want to stay seated?  That awkward moment when one person stands up first and then everyone else slowly gets up looking like they should have done it already.
  • I totally understand that ushers need to get people into their seats but I swear every time I start really getting into worship, I’m always interrupted to move over or let people in.  It totally ruins the mood.  And don’t even start about how I should have moved into the center of the aisle to start with. I GOT THERE FIRST. (#firstworldproblems I know.)
  • I know that it shouldn’t matter how a person sounds as long as they are worshiping earnestly, but it is rude to switch seats if the person behind you is screeching so loud you can’t concentrate?
  • I’ve always been slightly curious as to what would happen if someone drops both the juice tray AND the crackers during communion.

Yes, my mind does tend to think of weird things in church.  Don’t be fooled though. I am just as good as focusing as well.

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Sidewalks are not big enough for three people

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As a single 30 year old, I have a lot of friends that are dating, engaged, or married.  I find myself a lot of times being the odd numbered person in the group or at the very least the third wheel.  Now as long as THEY don’t have a problem with it, I have no qualms at all with hanging out with couples.  While I know that it can be fun to hang out with other couples, it can also be quite fun to hang out with just a single friend as well.  With almost all the couples I hang out with, I’m good friends with both the guy and the girl so it’s not like I’m favoring one over the other.  And I’ve found that I can learn a lot from them.  I’ve seen what a good marriage/relationship looks like, I’ve learned that just because you have a significant other doesn’t mean all your problems are solved, and also that it is possible (for me at least) to know that there ARE good guys out there and what traits I should look for.

However there are times when I worry “Oh gosh, have I become the token single friend?” I was reading a book the other day and the main character was the younger sister of the guy in a couple and she had been invited over for dinner.  It was after the meal and they were hanging out when this thought came to her mind: “The problem with being a guest of a couple is you never know just how long you’re supposed to stay.”  And I was like, that is so true!

I’m fine throughout the main part of the night.  It’s always after the fact, when there’s a lull in the conversation when I start thinking, should I leave? Should I ask them to ask me to leave? Do they want me to stay? Are they waiting for me to leave? Are they regretting asking me over in the first place? Before you ask, yes I worry about things like this and with almost every situation I go through billions of questions run through my head.

Then as my trusty friend (who is also the husband in their relationship) pointed out, it could be worse.

If the day ever comes when this has to happen to me, I have failed.  To all my dear couple friends, don’t let me fail.