Author Archives: Deborah Khuanghlawn

0

Blast from the Past: How Would Jesus Enter a Blog Giveaway

|

This isn’t a Thursday but I’m doing a throwback post that was on my old blog. This was one of the most popular non book review posts I posted on my book blog. For background information, when I used to run giveaways, I had the hardest time having people follow the simple instructions on just leaving a comment (the days before Google forms and Rafflecopter). Another blogger suggested, since I had a lot of Christian readers, to write about WWJD about entering blog giveaways. And thus, this was post was born.

So let’s go back to 2009:

If you’ve read my post about the Do’s and Don’ts of Contest Entries, then you know my stance on the corrective behavior about entering contests. Now I’m a pretty laid back person and I don’t complain a lot. Heck, I don’t even really talk about my personal life on this blog (except the wedding business but that’s because you all begged me for it. And because I wanted to show off a little 🙂 I don’t mind a little mistake here and there. I’ve done it before, everyone’s done it. No harm, the best is when you catch yourself and delete that wrong entry before I even notice. Kudos bars (do they still make those? I haven’t had one in years) to everyone who’s done that.

No, the problem lies with the people who continue to make these mistakes even though I’ve more than many times pointed out the rules of how to enter a contest on my blog. In case you somehow missed them, I always post my rules in bright red, and they are as big a font as I can get on blogger. They are also posted in the contests tab at the top of the blog, but here again for your added enjoyment.

People please….I’m in my mid 20s. You are giving me more gray hairs on my head than I need right now! I’ve found that most of these mistakes that happen in the Contest Do’s and Don’ts post occur whenever I post a Christian fiction giveaway.

BTW you may say, it’s such a minor thing, why don’t you just get over it, it’s not life and death. Ok you may say that but hey this is MY blog. Don’t like it? Well. I don’t know what to tell you.

Which brings the question: How would Jesus enter a blog giveaway?

Jesus is a mac user?? *Looking sadly at my PC.*

Never mind the fact that I do give away some books that Jesus wouldn’t enter for. I really don’t think he’d read chick lit, iffy on the YA (I bet he’d win at The Hunger Games), although I’m sure he’d love the Christian fiction. I wonder if Jesus would go for the edgy stuff or the Amish fiction? And why yes, Jesus would read fiction contrary to the popular belief that reading stories is reading lies and we shouldn’t’ be doing it. Jesus told stories aka parables. Are you saying then that Jesus told lies?

Would Jesus forget to leave his contact info when entering a contest? – Nope, because He always wants you to contact him. Whether you want to or not.

Would Jesus leave his mailing address for everyone to see? Ok well that one he might, but this may be the one time you don’t want to do what Jesus does. B/C while he wants all of us to go find him in his big house, I don’t think you want those random kooks at your house! To paraphrase Smokey the Bear, “Only you can prevent giving away your info to strangers!”

Would Jesus enter for a contest after it’s over and comments have been closed? Well even though Jesus is rather persistent and would like all his followers to be, I think when a door is closed permanently, it can’t be open again.

Would Jesus make sure he was entering the right giveaway and not enter on something that was not a giveaway? I think Jesus can tell the difference between right and wrong. Can you?

Would Jesus use an alias to keep entering giveaways? Well he does have that whole Trinity thing going for him but I really don’t think he’d use that for his advantage to win something (except maybe followers…I bet Jesus would have lots of people on his follower list, if he was doing a giveaway I bet you’d get extra entries for joining!).

So what’s the overall point of this post? The point is, I’m sorry for having to get all snarky and write a potential sacrilegious post like this. I know I may have offended some people and you will now all unsubscribe and hate me. I just feel like I’ve done as much as I can to make things as easy for people to enter and it still backfires on me. I feel bad having to disqualify and delete posts but if rules aren’t followed then that’s the way I have to go. If you can tell me how to make things more easier for you, please let me know.

And for the record, I love Jesus. Seriously. That’s why I’m so passionate about this blog, so I can give Christian fiction a good name and get the word out about it out there. Even when people made awkward pictures of him like this

 

0

How to Win and Lose at Series Finales

|

WARNING. THERE BE SPOILERS IN THIS POST. YOU WERE WARNED! THIS IS ALSO A REALLY LONG POST!

Unless you just avoided social media and entertainment this past week or you just don’t care, you may have seen that How I Met Your Mother ended this week after nine years. You also probably saw that the series finale had very mixed emotions from viewers ranging from “Great!” to “WORST THING EVER”.

Series finales are tough to do. How do you end a show for good after it has become loved and adored by millions of viewers? It’s really hard to try to answer every question, wrap up ever story line, or make everyone happy. Should you cater to the fans and give them what they want or do what you as the creator/writer wanted to do from the beginning?

Disclaimer: I’m one of the few who did like the series finale of Lost. I felt like that needed to be said.

I’m one of those people who has issues with continuity. I realize that sometimes it is hard to keep track of everything that happens. But what I don’t understand is when writers (of books, movies, and TV shows) just ignore everything that happens in the past and just tries to write around it and pretend it never happened. I’m not talking about a remake or a reboot. I’m talking about kids disappearing halfway through the show only to show up in the finale like it never took place.

There are the shows that end up getting cancelled way before the creators intended it to. Sometimes it’s right in the middle of a story line that leaves major cliffhangers. Other times the show gets cancelled abruptly and the last episode is not a farewell episode at all and is pretty bland. An example of the latter is the series finale of Full House. Sure Steve comes back in a cameo appearance but the rest of the episode doesn’t tie up series loose ends (Will Danny ever remarry? Will Jesse and Becky stay in the house forever? Why is Michelle still there?) and just leaves the viewers thinking that next year everything will be the same. Except there wasn’t a next year. There have been series finales when it turns out everything was just a dream (St. Elsewhere, Newhart) and ones where it turns out to just be a backdoor to another series (Andy Griffith Show). Then there’s the series finale of M*A*S*H which is the mother of all series finales because everyone and their mother in the US was watching it as its STILL the most watch series finale in history, and until Superbowl XLIV, the most watched television broadcast show in American history.

Let me give two examples of what I thought were good series finales to me.

1) Breaking Bad – As someone who had only started (binge) watching in the last few weeks of the show, I hadn’t been invested for a long time period as others from the beginning. But still there was great anticipation for how everything was going to play out. And as the weeks kept going by, the shows creators and writers managed to fulfill every thing I could think of. By the time the end credits rolled, I was completely satisfied. I did not need a spin off, I didn’t want to throw my remote at the TV, I was able to be like “Yes, this is how its done.” Loose ends were tied up, questions were answered, what I wanted to happened did, there was pretty much no other way it could have ended. Well done. Yes there’s going to be a prequel but the story is essentially done.

2) The Office – I was a big fan of The Office, until Steve Carrell left the show and then I stopped watching for several years. To me, Michael Scott WAS the show and without him, it wasn’t the same. But when the series finale came, since I had invested several years into it, I tuned it. And it was lovely. Even though I didn’t know who some of the people were, even though I didn’t know what some of the subplots were about, even though I still need to update myself with my favorite characters’ lives, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I even cried. I felt that the writers realized that old fans were going to return and made the episode a good bit of nostalgia mixed with the current trajectory of the show. (They even added in David Brent!) And it was a great sendoff and good closure.

Basically it’s like when I close a book. If I am satisfied with the story and I don’t need more, when I feel like I can let the characters or their legacy live on without more episodes, without spinoffs, or even a prequel, then that’s when the show has closed out for good for me. It doesn’t have to end happily. People do not even need to be alive. But I don’t want to see sloppy writing or rushed events or to play with the viewers’ emotions just for the sake of ratings or other things.

And in my personal opinion: How I Met Your Mother did not have a good series finale. I did not enjoy it. I’m not going to argue with you if you liked it. I’m not going to try to convince you to NOT like it nor are you going to be able to convince me on why I SHOULD like it. For me, personally it hit a little too close to home. You can read here about my love for the show. Basically I started watching it because I was in a Ted/Robin situation and I had to find a way to distract myself when things didn’t go as I planned. And it kept mirroring my life and I grew heavily invested in the show and the characters’ lives. To me the ending was basically the creators fulfilling a slap bet with me and delivering one to MY face. And the best part? There are so many people who felt the same way.

You can argue against me all you want and completely disagree with me and that’s fine. It’s not going to change my mind. It was a personal experience and we’re all going to think differently. But I’m just going to state why it was not good for me.

Barney and Robin get divorced within 15 minutes of the show’s opening. We just spent AN ENTIRE SEASON having their wedding shoved down their throats. We were forced to witness this wedding hour by hour. WE INVESTED TIME IN THIS WEDDING. Only to have it casually end as soon as the broadcast starts. I’m not denying that this doesn’t happen in real life. But I’m thinking the only reason why the wedding weekend lasted so long was because the writers weren’t sure that Season 9 was going to happen at all, and when they were granted the opportunity they had to find some way to milk it out. And so they did, forcing the viewers to become emotionally invested in something and then just act like it didn’t matter at all.

Ted finally meets the mother. And it was glorious. I loved their meeting. It was everything I wished it would be. Except. They don’t get married for 5 years, even after two kids. In what world, does Ted Mosby NOT marry the mother of his children? Don’t tell me that Ted finally learned what love really is. No. If you love someone, you will want to commit to them and marriage is that. And PLUS: during the episode “Trilogy Time” in 2015 while Ted is holding baby Penny, HE IS WEARING A WEDDING RING. It’s not that hard to go back and check on this!!

The mother dying. Honestly I’m ok with this. It’s sad and I would have loved a happy ending but it happens. No, what my issue is we never see Ted mourn. We grew to love the mother with the mythology and build up over the years and then Cristin Milioti was just fantastic. But we never see get to really see Ted with her. Had the show done it right, I feel like we would have at least had time to process and then not gotten our hearts stomped on and be forced to accept that….

THE MOTHER WAS A RED HERRING ALL ALONG. The show has always been how Ted and ROBIN were meant to be together. Because in the last few minutes, we find out that Ted has basically told the story to his kids and it’s really asking their permission to ask out “Aunt Robin” which the kids give because “Mom was barely in this story!” (The scene with the kids was taped before season 2. So all along they were going to kill the mom and have Ted end up with Robin. I despise this. I feel like they forced themselves into this.) The entire series we’ve been so sick and tired of Ted and Robin, will they, won’t they? Because Robin made her decision. She has shown over and over that she only wants things when she can’t have them. Robin is the girl every guy dreams of. No emotional crisis, drinks Scotch, smokes cigars, loves sports, and is super hot. In this sense she is perfect for Barney. But that even couldn’t last. Ted was willing to be everything she wanted and needed and she still didn’t want him. So he FINALLY lets her go. They made Robin LITERALLY float away. Ted meets the mother.

Tracy (the mother) is basically the woman who gave Ted kids because Robin could never do this. Yes, she is the perfect woman for Ted but not the love of his life. Ted is a suburban dad with two teenagers. Robin is TV anchor who travels, lives in the city by herself, with 5 dogs and is independent. Is she really going to drop all that for Ted’s life? Ted has been holding onto a hope for Robin ALL THESE YEARS. I got out of this, “Hey! That guy I’ve been in love with for years that I keep waiting and hoping on? I’m going to let him go literally and figuratively. Then I’m going to meet the guy who is going to be the perfect guy for me. And we will be happy for a few years. And then he’s going to die. But there’s a happy ending because I will still get to end up with the first guy!”

I have other issues but I will leave you with this Buzzfeed post which other than number 14 (mixed emotions? no, I know how I feel) is exactly how I view this situation.

2

Online Dating is not all it’s cracked up to be

|

So I finally caved. I signed up to do online dating.

While online dating doesn’t have the negative stigma it used to have, it still can feel like a last resort. While I do know several folks who have gotten together because of online dating, in my close group of friends, all of them met their significant others the old-fashioned way. When you’re the only one who can’t, it makes you feel like a pariah and that going online means you’re doing the last ditch attempt.

It’s also really interesting reading all the different Christian perspectives on online dating. Some are completely against it because it means you’re trying to control God’s will. Others are like it’s just a tool that can help you. Some are completely against women doing any of the initiating while others are completely against it.

It was a somewhat reluctant choice. I kinda felt like I had made a promise with God that I’d do it if nothing happened in a relationship that I was hoping.

But anywho as I was saying, I had kept stalling on signing up for an account because I wanted to see if God would let all this happen on its own. Finally it got to the point where I felt God just telling me “Trust me with this.” And a situation happened where I realized that I couldn’t wait around any longer. I figured “ok, let’s get this out of the way and see if it works.”

I started up first by signing up for a free week’s trial on Match.com. I had my friends help me with my account because I’m horrible at describing myself. After the account was made, we were looking around and were like “Where are all these guys in real life who say on here that they are Christian?” The week went by with nothing really going anywhere. I do have a story that comes out of this experience but that’s for another time.

I looked at the Christian dating sites but those seemed sparsely populated and with guys with names such as “GodzGift2Women”. So that was a no go.

I had also registered for a free trial on Eharmony. I didn’t sign up immediately since it was PRICEY. But I kept getting emails that kept lowering and lowering the price. Finally they dropped it down to 8.99 a month for three months AND I could sign up right after New Year’s which had been my plan all along. So I did. I actually knew people who had gotten married because of Eharmony and for what I was looking for, it seemed more compatible for me.

Har har har.

What were my thoughts and experiences after three months? Well. I’m still single. I never went out on a single date. I never even finished a full communication with a single guy. GO ME.

During the first month I had my restrictions pretty tight. It was highly important for me to meet someone who was a Christian, 26-34, drank occasionally, had no kids, valued education very important, and lived 30 miles away from me. As I’m in the DC metro area, I figured that shouldn’t be hard to find a guy who fits all that. Apparently it is. The first two weeks there were barely any matches for me and Eharmony kept telling me I needed to loosen up with my restrictions. Ok, fine I’ll open it up to 60 miles. Again since I lived in the DC area, there should be a ton of guys. Nope, still not getting a lot of matches. FINE. I changed my settings to 120 miles even though Eharmony kept telling me to make it at least 300 miles. Now we’re starting to get somewhere except a lot of these matches seemed to be in Pennsylvania which is at least 2 hours drive for me. And even then there STILL weren’t a lot of matches. So I finally loosened up my education to slightly important. BOOM. Apparently that was the key factor as a lot of guys don’t value education as important as I do, as least on this site.

  • I don’t know if I did something wrong or if I kept getting matched with guys who were inactive or I’m just incredibly ugly or something but in 3 months, I got maybe 20-25 profile views. That’s it.
  • I got one communications request that fizzled out after I sent (as prompted by the site) these open ended questions (1. Open your fridge and name the first 3 things you see. 2. What are you currently geeking out over right now? 3. Describe a time that God has been awesome in your life.) vs the stupid bland questions Eharmony suggested. My questions weren’t hard and if that disinterests you, you are definitely not for me.
  • I sent out about five smiles to guys I thought were interesting and no response, no profile view, nothing from them.
  • I looked at a guy’s profile and immediately he closed out the match. I looked at the profiles at about 80% of the matches that I got and 95% of them never looked back.
  • I sent out the 5 question getting to know you to six guys I thought was interesting. Two closed out the match to block me. (To make things awkward, that following Sunday one of them showed up in my church. I have no idea if he’s been there all along or if he just started coming but I just found it really weird.) Before I canceled my membership, there were still four guys who never responded at all to my icebreaker. What kills me is they all say they were “active today”. I have no idea what that actually means and if they were really online and just ignoring me.
  • One of the guys I got matched with was supposed to have been the roommate of the guy that through circumstance caused me to signup for online dating in the first place. What are the odds of that? (No worries, he had an inactive profile)

I’m slightly confused as to all the stories of people who I’ve read both sides of who should do the initiating on online dating sites. From the Christian perspective alone, I was told to go ahead and send messages as well as to let the guy be the one that does all the initiating. Well to be honest, at the rate I’m going, if I just sit and wait for the guy, I’m not even going to be looked at. I can understand if you clicked on my profile and weren’t interested after getting to read me. I also want to know all these women who supposedly get so many messages they don’t know what to do.

Did I ever really think I’d find “the one” online? Not really. I just thought that I’d at least get SOME interaction on here. Instead all it’s done is just leave me quite frustrated and not as hopeful. I’ve come to the conclusion that either something was horribly wrong with me or I just kept getting matched with guys who were inactive or only had the freebie accounts and couldn’t really see or do anything (or perhaps they were dead). As for the guy that just stopped responding, I have no idea. It’s just really frustrating that it’s hyped so heavily and yet nothing came out of it at all.

Sure you can argue that I only tried it for three months and it’s an investment. But, if after three months, not a single thing happened, you can’t guarantee that anything is going to happen and I don’t want to waste my money on this kind of uncertainty. I could go to free sites but I’m not feeling any sense of rush or urgency at the moment.

So, what now? Well, nothing really. I just have to wait and trust. Will I try this ever again? Maybe. We’ll see. (Lower price might help.) But I feel that God just wanted me to try it, he didn’t guarantee anything would happen. I just need to trust and see what’s going to happen next.

0

Where the sidewalk ends

|

And now for your random post of the day.

Perhaps you can help me answer this because I don’t understand it.

Why do people walk on the street vs a sidewalk?

sidewalk

sidewalk (Photo credit: nicolasnova)

Now before all you runners tell me about asphalt is better for your knees than concrete, I’m merely talking about just plain walking. Not running, jogging, bicycling, skateboarding, etc. Just plain walking.

There are so many times when I see a perfectly good sidewalk that isn’t going to end for a LONG time, isn’t cracked or damaged, or covered in puddles or snow and I see people choose to walk in traffic on the actual street.

What is the reasoning for this? This isn’t like I’ll see a random person do this, this seems pretty universal in all types of neighborhoods and cities. Is there some aversion to sidewalks that I am not aware of? Aren’t you worried about getting hit by a car? I can’t tell you the number of times at night I’ve nearly hit someone who was walking on the street instead of the sidewalk because I couldn’t see them until the very last second (and really, they should have seen me coming).

I even had a weird moment when I was sitting in my car waiting for a friend, and a group of walkers all chose to walk around on the street instead of the sidewalk on the other side. So for a few seconds it felt like I was surrounded as they all had to walk AROUND the car instead of just walking straight ahead on the sidewalk.

If anyone can answer this question, I would gladly appreciate it.

Enhanced by Zemanta
1

And so for (insert my name) of (insert my hometown), opportunity knocks!

|

So in fun news for today: I can officially announce that I’m going to be contributor for Entertainment Weekly‘s new blog The Community.

community

How did this happen? Well, I happened to be on Twitter (ok ok, I’m always on Twitter) and saw that the EW was looking for bloggers about television shows. So I applied. I then got back an email asking for writing samples about shows I’ve written. I sent in my blog posts about How I Met Your Mother, The Walking Dead, and Doctor Who. Apparently there was something in there that was good enough because then I got a reply back saying I had been chosen and could I be available to speak on the phone with an editor?! I’ve been chosen along with 20 other bloggers to write about TV shows and I’m geeked. It’s been an awesome whirlwind experience over the past few months and I’m really excited about doing this. I mean basically I get to do what I’m already doing, just with a potentially bigger audience.

If you like TV shows, you should definitely check out the blog. It’s written by other superfans so you’ll get a nice variety of shows and different styles of writing. While the blog is already up and running, I won’t start posting until the week of April 20.

The first show that I’ll be covering is Metal Hurlant Chronicles on the SyFy channel. (It’s ok. I hadn’t heard about it either when I was originally assigned to it.)

 

But after watching the trailer, I’m excited to see it. It’s a sci fiction book based on a comic book series. Meaning, yes it’s a geeky show.

Synopsis from Wikipedia: MĂ©tal Hurlant Chronicles is an English-language Franco-Belgian television science fiction anthology series based on the popular comics anthology magazine MĂ©tal Hurlant, known in the United States as Heavy Metal and in Germany as Schwermetall. All the episodes are a self-contained story taking place on a different planet with a different cast, linked together only by the idea that an asteroid, the “MĂ©tal Hurlant”, passes the planet in question during the events of the story. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%A9tal_Hurlant_Chronicles)

It’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea and that’s ok. The next few weeks I’m going to spend time doing some research on the show and comics so I can familiarize myself as best I can. Either way, this should be a fun time! If you follow me on Twitter or on my Facebook page, you’ll find out when I’ve posted!

Addendum: This is a really interesting opportunity for me. Unlike the other folks that are also going to be writing, I am not a journalist. I didn’t plan on writing about entertainment for a living (though it’d be pretty cool) and except for a few years as a high school correspondent for my local paper, I haven’t really tried my hand at journalism. I have a career outside of this. Yes, I like writing. Yes, I like to blog. Yes, I love entertainment. But it’s not what I was originally planning on doing. So it feels a bit weird to get chosen to do this and sometimes I really question why I got picked. Also it doesn’t help when I go online and see articles saying that I shouldn’t be doing this and that “exposure” doesn’t count as compensation and how I’m just screwing things up for “real writers”. It’s really easy to have all the insecurity slip in right now, and tell myself “you’re not that good!” or “you shouldn’t be doing this!”. But you know, I’m not going to focus on that. Right now, I’m ok with just getting experience and exposure. And no, nothing is wrong with me for wanting that. I’m also looking forward to learning things that I wouldn’t have I not been granted this opportunity. This isn’t a full time job for me and I’ll always have this blog to fall back on. So if next year I’m right back where I started, it’ll be ok. I’m excited to do this and we’ll see what comes out of it. I’m also going to have to grow a thicker skin it seems.

0

When Your Heart’s Desires Become Your Heart Idols

|

So this the last in the series of recapping the women’s retreat I went to a few weeks ago. There was so much that I got out of it that of course I had to share it. If you haven’t already, feel free to check out my posts on forgiveness, jealousy, and bacon (aka an overview of the retreat).

When you think about idols, usually what comes to mind is some big tall statue or perhaps the golden calf. We joke about what and who we idolize, basically what is the most important things in our lives.

According to Shawn Lantz, the speaker at the retreat, the definition of idolatry is “centering our attention and affection on something or someone other than God himself.” Or basically what has become the most important focus in your life to the point where everything else has taken a backseat and you can’t see clearly anymore.  “I’m blind when I pursue other things that I think will satisfy me.”

She talked about exposing heart idols and gave these as an example

  • Control/Power
  • Comfort/Security
  • Approval/Affirmation

Our idols always demand a sacrifice. Our idols cannot be removed; they must be replaced.

When I look at that list, five out of the six apply to me. I can honestly say that I do not need power. It really is something that has never been tempting to me. I don’t want it. I don’t need to be in the top position because I know all the negative side effects that come with that. Honestly if that was ever granted to me as a superpower, I would turn it down. I do not and never will crave power.

However as for the others? *grimace*

With certain aspects in my life, those five heart idols definitely come into play. Probably because of how my life has been and wheres it’s going, these things are painful to admit at how important they’ve become in my life.

  • Control – I don’t necessarily want to have power, but I would like it when things go according to plan. MY PLAN.
  • Comfort – I don’t like being in situations that make uncomfortable and awkward.
  • Security – I want to know that I’m safe and will be taken care of. I don’t want to feel like I’ve been left alone.
  • Approval – I want to know that you like me and I haven’t made you mad. I don’t want to be a bother.
  • Affirmation – I want to know that you want to be with me because you want to and not because you have to.

While each of these can start off being just simple requests, it’s very easy to see how they can overtake you and especially when you combine a lot of them. You begin thinking, oh if I just get this then everything will become better and I’ll be happy. But the eyes of man are never satisfied and the heart is always longing.

Are there things in my life that I want right now? Yes. Have I placed very high importance levels on them? Yes. Will they completely satisfy all the heart idols’ desires and wants? Nope.

I know for me at least, I’m glad that I recognize that these are issues in my life. I’ve acknowledged them and though it makes me feel vulnerable, I know that by realizing what I need to work on is what is going to help me.

All who make idols are nothing,
    and the things they treasure are worthless.
Those who would speak up for them are blind;
    they are ignorant, to their own shame. (Isaiah 44:9)

“Remember these things, Jacob,
    for you, Israel, are my servant.
I have made you, you are my servant;
    Israel, I will not forget you.
 I have swept away your offenses like a cloud,
    your sins like the morning mist.
Return to me,
    for I have redeemed you.” (Isaiah 44:21-22)

0

You like me! You really like me!

|

This is a sort of blog housekeeping post. I recently created a Facebook page for this blog.

facebookpage

Why, you may ask? Well, I would like to reach out to more readers than I currently do now. For the past 6 months, my publicizing has been mainly through my Twitter feed and my personal Facebook feed. Unless someone came across my blog through random searches or I happened to post a link to my blog on a website, the odds of people finding and interacting have been limited to those folks I already know.

So I did a lot of research and looking into the benefits of creating a Facebook page. And there seem to be quite a few. It will mean double work on my end since I don’t want it to be just me reposting my links AGAIN. But I do hope that eventually it can become its own community as well.

I’ve been hesitant to individually ask my Facebook friends to like my page. I don’t want them to feel like they are getting spammed. I don’t want to them to like it because I’m their friend. If they aren’t genuine readers then liking my page isn’t going to do anyone anything. Though I was also told that it’s not spam if it’s something I’m proud of. I just know I’m guilty of ignoring requests to like pages from my friends of things I don’t know about and I don’t want to do that to other people.

That being said, I don’t want to have a dead Facebook fan page that gets abandoned after I ask everyone to join. Or as I said even just me posting up links to my blog all the time. I would like there to be interaction with people. Perhaps you didn’t want to leave a comment but you wanted to just quickly say something. Or perhaps you wanted to ask a question that didn’t seem right to email me. I’m trying to post something every day, maybe links around the web I found interesting that I wanted to share or created discussion.

If you want to join in on the adventure, click over here https://www.facebook.com/agirlwhoisageek and have at it. I wish I could give you all cookies but instead you’ll have to just accept my thanks in advance!

0

Yes, I will be YOUR Punk Rock Princess.

|
New Found Glory (album)

New Found Glory (album) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’ve talked about how I am a huge Beatles fan. I also have mentioned how I am now a Josh Groban fan but I haven’t really listened to his music. Well at least until yesterday.

Other than The Beatles, my music taste has both varied and stayed pretty constant. I am the type of person that likes a song and not necessarily a band and their entire catalog. Going through my mixed CDs over the years you would probably find many bands/groups only listed once or twice simply because I enjoyed that one song of theirs but never ventured into anything else.

I was having a discussion the other day with a friend about music we listened to in high school and how it made us feel really old. And then I saw an ad pop up on my Facebook sidebar promoting a concert with 4 bands I like in high school being held in Maryland next month and I realized how most of the bands are now in their late 30s or pushing early 40s. And I’m like….oof, gosh this makes me feel ancient. (Especially after reading this article on Buzzfeed.)

But then I decided let’s take a stroll down memory lane and go back to 2001-2003. Back when I was 18-20, these were bands I listened to. I went to Warped Tour in 2001 as well as other numerous shows of this nature (ah The Boathouse, I miss thee). Punknews.org was one of my favorite websites. And I wore a studded belt. Yes, I listened to a lot of pop punk/emo music.

I realize that there’s a good chance the majority of you won’t recognize these bands because you don’t listen to this type of music. But that’s ok.

So here we go:

New Found Glory was one of my favorite bands during this time period. To this day, I still love their first four albums with their self titled one being one of absolute favorites of all time. I saw them about 4 times in concert. The last time I went though, I was quite sad because at the age of 20 I was one of the oldest people at the show and the kids there didn’t even know this song.

Saves the Day was the first non Beatles album that I ever bought. I was a freshman in college and I went to the mall to the record store and paid for Stay What You Are, with a check!

I got introduced to Alkaline Trio because of a boy I liked at the time. (Which is pretty much a good reason why I liked most of these bands TBH). This is my favorite of all their songs, though I prefer the version on the Vagrant Records sampler (if you know which one I mean, you rock).

I didn’t really like AFI too much, but I loved this song.

I saw Something Corporate in concert with New Found Glory and I loved how they used the piano/keyboard. Ah this just brings back memories.

This song by the Get Up Kids….to this day it’s one of my go to songs for just kicking back.

And this was just a brief sample of what I used to listen to back in the day, and still sometimes today. I hope that was a fun trip down memory lane for you as well (or I just introduced you to some new bands).

Enhanced by Zemanta
0

Hey Jealousy

|

It’s so easy to get jealous. And it’s also crazy the thing small tiny things we get jealous over.

Shawn Lantz, the speaker at the women’s retreat, spent a lot of the first session talking about this. Because as women, we tend to get jealous a lot. And it’s become a stereotype for us. I personally do believe that men get jealous as well, but they are less willing to admit it, at least not publicly. But for women, it’s so present in our lives every day about how we compare ourselves to each other and feel like we can never measure up. It’s a never ending battle we have with each other and with our own selves.

To highlight some of the things Shawn talked about, everything she said specifically will be in quotes.

Four core issues that a jealous heart wrestles with

God, can I trust you?
God, do you love me?
God, are you good?
God, are you just?

“There is no shame in admitting I struggle with jealousy.”

One of the things Shawn mentioned is how it can be easier to admit you have an anger issue than a jealousy problem. And I think that’s true. We’ve been ingrained throughout our entire lives that jealously is wrong and we shouldn’t be feeling it. But yet it still happens. For example, Facebook is the best way to make yourself feel inadequate. Look at all the things other people are doing! They got engaged! They got married! They bought a house! They are pregnant! They had a boy! They had a girl! They went on vacation! They look perfect! And then we feel like we have to one up them….or just give up and admit defeat that we will never have lives as good as theirs look. I probably should just stop using Facebook for a while but I’m not ready to yet.

Maybe there are some people who never have to deal with jealousy. And kudos to them for honestly feeling that way. That’s awesome that you have found a way to never compare yourself to others and want things others have. I’m jealous of you for being that way. HAH.

I had a discussion with one of my girlfriends about how jealously in western culture tends to be visually based. We get jealous of material items and body images because that’s what society throws at us. I do believe however that jealously is universal though. In other parts of the world there’s a different type of jealousy. I think humans crave emotional affection and attention so if we don’t get that, there’s always going to be some sort of envy.

A personal confession? I get jealous. It can be a struggle right now with all my friends who are in relationships and I’m not after attempts to have relationships keep failing. Every time I receive news that a friend gets engaged, while I’m extremely happy for them, I break down into tears. I’m jealous that they have found someone who chooses to love them. And I want that so badly and it hurts when it won’t happen. I feel like something is wrong with me and wonder what they have that I don’t.

But the thing is I also know that even if I get this one thing fulfilled, if not handled correctly and I don’t fix where my heart is, my jealousy won’t stop there. Because people who are dating get jealous of people who get engaged. People who are engaged get jealous of those who are getting married before them. People who are married get jealous of those who are single. People who aren’t pregnant yet get jealous of those who are pregnant. People are pregnant are jealous of those who have easier pregnancies than they do. People who have boys get jealous of those who have girls and vice versa. People who have kids get jealous of those who don’t have kids. People get jealous of those who have bought houses, cars, vacations, etc.

There are so many things we get jealous over. And it’s never going to end.

I wonder sometimes how could anyone possibly be jealous of me? I don’t have my life together at all. I never have anything interesting happen in my life. I’ve had really bad things happen in my life. What could you possibly think is awesome in my life that is not in yours? Not trying to be cynical here.

Comparison – we become disgruntled with what once made us content

We believe that our obedience entitles us to more than what we were promised

We want God’s blessings to us to match our desires and/or sense of justice.

Since I struggle with this from time to time, I know at least for me I have to just admit I feel this way vs hide it under a rug and ignore it. And when I admit it, then at least I can face the problem and try to fix it. What usually ends up happening is when I feel it’s getting too bad, I pray a lot.  God shows me what I can be grateful for, but not in a way that makes me feel guilty.

Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Psalm 73:25-26)

Jealousy is ugly. It’s not becoming and it’s not a quality trait. I’m not going to lie and say that I never have it. I just need to deal with it in a more positive way.

Enhanced by Zemanta
0

Adventures in Babysitting

|

Growing up I was a HUGE fan of the Baby-Sitters Club books.

BSC97

It’s really funny now that so many of the people I know would highly benefit from such a business. I mean really, why has there not been a group of high schoolers in the DC metro area not taken advantage of this business opportunity? You guys would be millionaires already. Just saying.

As a gift to some good friends of mine, I had offered a free night of baby sitting while they went out to the movies. Actually the gift was given during their child’s first birthday party. He didn’t need more gifts, but I wanted to give it to his parents because I figured they could use a night out/off.

I haven’t had a real baby sitting job since college days so it’s been over ten years but I wasn’t perturbed. It was like riding a bike again. Maybe it’s a sign of the times and things have changed since then, but do people not give out numbers for emergencies anymore? I was expecting to get the after hours pediatrician or neighbor’s and my friends were like eh, just call 911. Also I would be changing my first diaper in YEARS. Thankfully the parents got the messy diaper out of the way before they left so I didn’t have to deal with it. I was also told you can help yourself to anything in the fridge. I felt like I was 15 all over again. It was lovely.

Things went well for most of the night. The baby and I had a very nice time together. We ate Cheerios (he ate, and then fed me a few), played with a toy train, watch him get in antics with the dog, and I read several books to him. He’s an adorable baby and I love him to bits. And it was quite delightful.

But then it was time for bed…..and I couldn’t get him to go to sleep. I did everything his mom told me to do: give bottle, change diaper, switch to pacifier, etc. I leave the room……cries. Waited ten minutes hoping he’d calm down. No, such luck. I went back in the room and stayed with him for a little while longer. Leave room….WAILS. I wait about 20 minutes that maybe he’d stop? Nope. So as a last resort, I just grabbed an IPad and he curled up in my lap and we watched Baby Einstein together. Let me tell you, that thing calms down babies AND adults. It nearly put ME to sleep. (Also if one were to watch that on drugs, it’d be quite trippy.)

And I know that parents deal with this ALL the time. And it’s not the baby’s fault or the parents’ fault AT ALL. But when I couldn’t get him to sleep, I felt like the most horrible person in the world. The thought of “oh my gosh, I am never going to become a mom because I cannot get this baby to bed” kept rushing into my mind. Which is of course silly because I have been hearing countless times over the past few years of my friends unable to get their kids to sleep. But as this was really my first time doing it at the age where I can now really think about one day having babies soon, it almost was like getting thrown in the line of fire without training. And I feel like I failed miserably.

Before you say anything, yes, I have already been told by countless amounts of people that this is normal, that kids do this, that it’s ok, that “hey, at least you got to leave”, etc. But in a moment of truthfulness, not being able to put him to sleep brought out a lot of fears and insecurities in me. What if I never do have kids? What if I’m not going to be good with kids? What if my kids hate me? What if I hate my kids? What if other people judge me for not being good with kids? What if I’m never meant to be a mom or wife and this is God showing me this with a crying baby? It was whole thought rampage that went through my head and it frightened me.

On the plus side, his crying did tug at my heart so I know I don’t have that cruel side in me that would ignore crying. So there’s that going for me.

I realize that right now as I am single and don’t have kids, I’m more flexible in my life right now. And while I do hope very much that all that changes some day (sooner rather than later) as of this moment, I can use this freedom and bless my friends with it. I really don’t get anything out of it (other than hopefully being prepared for when I have kids one day) and nor do I really want to. I want to do this because I love my friends and this is a way that I can show love to them. I’m already prepared next month to help out another set of friends with their two and a half month old baby for the weekend. So need a baby sitter? Save time….call me.

Enhanced by Zemanta