Have you ever decided you wanted to do something and you think “I like to do this with a bunch of people. They’d probably enjoy this too!”? So you come up with a list of people who you really want to invite and perhaps add a few backups just in case the A List can’t make it. Then you decide to send out your invites either via email, text, Facebook messenger because no one really does snail mail invites anymore for non formal events.

Because you want to save time, you just send out one mass invite to everyone. Should be easy right?

Wrong.

You can’t send out group invites where everyone can see that other people are invited. It just doesn’t work.

You’re not going to hear back from everyone. Some people are going to reply, others will not. They will think they don’t need to because someone else will.

If they can see the guest list, there will be times when they will make their decision on who else is coming first. Unless this is something that they really want to do or they really enjoy spending time with you, these folks will NOT make their RSVP until they see who else is coming. Who’s going to be the first to push the button?

People also hate the reply all button. And unless you are using a platform like Facebook messenger which allows you to opt out of the group, you are stuck getting tons of text messages or emails that you do NOT want. It’s a pain to keep getting messages from people you don’t know especially when you can’t tell who it is. And since you never really wanted to be included on this in the first place, you’re really not going to reply back with a positive answer.

So what’s the trick to getting people to go out and do something with you?

Be super popular and be so cool that EVERYONE wants to be around you and asks YOU to hang out with them so much that you just decide to ignore people when they want to hang out with you.

Just kidding (sorta).

You have to be pro active about inviting. People are always going to have plans. Even when they don’t have active plans, sometimes if they don’t hear about anything going on they will just plan for a night in. Making last-minute plans can sometimes work, but if you know you want to do something in advance, you need to act early on it to make it happen.

You have to plan wisely. Realize that not everyone is going to be able to everything.

Also, DON’T SEND OUT GROUP INVITES.  People will get irritated with YOU for putting them on that list in the first place. They don’t want

If you MUST send out a group email, do what you do at work, and just BCC everyone. So what if people don’t know who else is coming? Unless they are totally freaked out or disgusted at hanging out one on one with you (then which they really shouldn’t be your friend in the first place), should it matter?

Basically just use judgement. Don’t include people on group texts, emails if you know they won’t go. People shouldn’t feel left out if they know they can’t come.

Personally invite each person that you want to go with you. Yes, this will take up more time and it’s not as convenient but it probably will get better results. People (despite everything we say about not having enough time or being too busy) still enjoy one on one personal interaction with people they care about. You may have to make the list smaller if you, yourself, are short on time.

It’s still not guaranteed though. Nothing is certain. You can personally invite someone, get a response, and they STILL leave you hanging.

Or you can read these very helpful articles

Making Plans with People

Worries People Often Have About Making Friends and Plans

Examples Of Organizing Various Group Social Plans

and if the worst thing happens and no one wants to go out with you?

Going Out Alone To Meet New Friends And Practice Your Social Skills