There is one area of geek fandom that I desperately have always wanted to be a part of but I never will. No, not anime or RPGs. While those are fine and dandy, I’ve tried them and while they are interesting, those just aren’t for me.

Nope, what I really wish I could do but can’t is play video games.

Growing up, my parents wouldn’t buy us any video game system. We were supposed to be focused more on our studies and any leisure time was supposed to be spent doing more studying or reading for pleasure. Video games were expensive and a waste of time. The only time I ever got to play them as a young child was when my sisters and I visited my cousin’s house and eagerly played Super Mario/Duckhunt. (Confession: because of my limited time playing Super Mario, I still have not passed the third level. Of the first game. I know. I know.)

When I got to school, everyone had video games. All the boys loved them. They brought their Gameboys and Game Gears on field trips, their Nintendo magazines and game guides were read illegally during class, and were always bragging what new games they got and what new achievements they reached. I was the weird girl who instead of being all “Boys and their silly video games” was more like “I want to join!”.

But I couldn’t. Not because I didn’t have access to games. Nope. It’s because…I GET STUPID MOTION SICKNESS PLAYING VIDEO GAMES.

Yes this is a problem that I have to face. I cannot play or watch certain video games without actually having to go throw up and then feeling like I want to die. Anything that is first person (most shooting games) or where the camera spins around while the person has to look for something, I cannot handle. I watched my friends play Portal one night (a game I would love to try out) and it was absolutely horrible. I pretty much spent the rest of the night dry heaving with severe nausea. I love playing Mario Kart but if we try just one round on Rainbow Road, my night is over.

Basically this is me:

It’s horribly embarrassing that this happens. It’s one thing to get motion sickness when in a car (and yet I can ride roller coasters with no problem whatsoever) but when watching/playing video games? While I do know some people who are the same way, it seems really rare among gamers. I’m going to assume that either a) they suck it up or b) it really is rare. I even googled “video games motion sickness” and I found an article that said this

“Getting motion sickness while playing videogames affects a lot of people, yet it seems almost like a taboo to talk about among gamers because you might not be seen as “hardcore” since you can’t play certain things.”

There are games that I CAN play and do enjoy. You may ask, what is a game that you like AND can play? One that comes to mind is Marvel: Ultimate Alliance. I was introduced to that game about two years ago and had such a blast playing it. It didn’t make me sick at all and it was fun playing it with friends. However since I have no access to it without my friends, I can’t play it without them but that was something I really enjoyed.

It’s just really sad for me because I would love to be part of this community and I just physically can’t. Video games interest me but I can’t spend time playing them without wanting to cut off my head from the pain. Which is probably good because I could see myself getting quite addicted and not leaving. So maybe it’s a blessing in disguise.

That being said, I fully appreciate everything that goes into making a good game and I’m always interested in games that have good story lines and are visually appealing. I really liked watching the beginning of Bioshock Infinite and wish I could have played it. While I’m sometimes leery about how much time can be spent devoted to a game, I’m still always interested in hearing about new games. I also don’t mind watching demos but fair warning, if I start feeling sick, I’m going to ask you to stop. It would be awesome to work for a video game company as well. And maybe one day when I have kids, I can conquer this stumbling block so that all of us can play together.

In a nutshell, video games are fun. I wish I could play them. Until then, I live vicariously through my gamer friends (you know who you all are.) And this is about sums it up how I feel: